Idk why you're getting downvoted for a normal reaction to previous stuff, that you're being very open and honest about and acknowledging was a bad thing. I swear people see a downvoted post and just base their final opinion on what the majority think.

That all sounds normal, either have a good long chat with him about it and explain what's happened and why, and apologise... or maybe therapy if you're not sure where it definitely came from. You wanted to spend time with him, you can't because of his shifts, but today both missing him and being alone combined with him saying something that made you feel like you didn't provide enough made you overly sensitive, (because he's held money over your head in the past so this seems normal, but could also be your own overly high expectations of yourself and insecurities) and in the moment you said something you shouldn't have about him being absent in the past also.

These things bothered you in the past and maybe you didn't address them enough, but the real issue seems to be that you're ashamed about your money contributions, lonely and he's always asleep because of work. You want more time with him by the sounds of it and to discuss and come to terms with the difference in money.

If you've got friends and hobbies I'm betting you're mostly fine, but not fully with him always awake at different times from you. If you don't have these other support systems, and all you have on the weekends is your kid and a sleeping husband... I'm betting the loneliness is actually killing the relationship and your mental health slowly. Idk what the solution for that is, you probably need to work that out together. You're way more likely to snap and say things like this if you're lonely and getting depressed though, and this sounds like a possibility from what you've described.

If he's oversharing with family and that's coming back in a negative way on you, you probably also need to talk about that. There's asking for advice on complicated things and then oversharing for validation and hurting your partner in the process. He needs to make sure he's doing the former and not the latter.