Submitted by themightyheptagon t3_yi8yyj in todayilearned
He cured them a second time
Great. Now I want some jerky.
If whole, did the meat just fly out of people storage/mouths and combine like a puzzle?
Omg, it's too early for pepperoni kids and Santa Claus.
Basis for the dutch Sinterklaas also known as saint Nicholas as well.
Brings toys and candy for the young ones on the eve of the 6th of december.
Santa claus is the same but has more association with the birth of jesus.
Do NOT make me cure you a third time!
If the meat were not cured already, resurrection would have been much more difficult.
It's a title gore, according to the article, he found them pickled, whole, before they had been sold.
That's what's wrong with our society today: No more WHOLESOME family holiday entertainment.
The whole place is pickled
The people are pickles for sure
And no one knows if they've done more here
Than they ever would do in a jar
All Jesus did was make a bunch of fish and wine, yelled at a tree and brought 1dude back to life.
That show The Librarians mentioned this IIRC. I thought it was cool.
This could be Rotterdam - or anywhere
Time to visit the Hickory Farms store for a holiday gift pack?
That joke is the würst
He also whipped the asses of a bunch of people who turned a church into a den of greed and vice.
Yeah, he's one of the historical/legendary personas that blended together into the modern, Western concept of Santa Claus.
Other contributions include the English Father Christmas (originally a separate folk personification of Christmas/midwinter festivities, now melded into a synonym of Santa Claus) and possibly even Odin, who appeared in many ancient midwinter tales, connected to Wild Hunt legends, in which he soared through the night sky pulled by his eight-legged horse Sleipnir, as well as packs or herds of flying animals, and spirits or fey creatures (think: elves), and was known as a gift-bringer.
Magically resurrecting. As opposed to more mundane methods of resurrection
"The Pickled Boys" is a piece in Benjamin Britten's oratorio "Saint Nicholas" The entire work is actually not that good.
Jesus with a Bo Staff would be pretty bad ass.
The original basis for Santa is Odin and/or the Holly King, some random catholic with a penchant for little boys is hardly the basis for Santa.
Successful CPR is mundane resurrection. Though I suppose it would still be magical if it worked on children hacked to pieces.
We need a Muppet version of THIS story.
To be fair, it was knockwurst than the time my dad told me about Santa
I learned this from Puppet History.
[removed]
Oh God I can't wait!!!
"W-what are you just staring at us for, bro? The butcher turned us into pickles, St. Nicholas!"
The saint Nicolas episode of “Puppet History” is probably as close as we will get.
No, you're thinking of Elon Musk, the pederast (at least that's what I've read).
And if they were brought back to life after you unknowingly ate them.....
Brings to mind Pushing Daisies with a young Lee Pace:
The last time I sausage bad puns I was in the old dad's home.
Huh, I've heard Epstein personally named Musk to be his successor.
Many people are saying this is definitely true and Elon Musk is an unrepentant child rapist.
Not me of course, but it is concerning how often it comes up, like when I just wrote it up above.
St Nicholas saved the Pickles Boys!
Something something religion bad.
Funniest shit we've ever seen
But he was a teenage boy back then, so it was more an edgy socialist phase
Well that was nice of him
I was casing the joint for new puns
He didn't resurrect them at all. They were already cured.
One time I was pressing beef jerky and it started mooing :(
All my puns were used! Drat!
Interesting side note, the butchers name was “Jeffrey Dahmer”….
The Catholic church heavily downplays that incident.
Resurrection assumes the process of death has taken place, CPR cannot undo this process, it can only prevent the process from continuing past the point of no return.
Stairwayunicorn t1_iuhiajb wrote
whole or missing a few pounds?