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redentification t1_itdwhgw wrote

She probably used his middle name, too.


LincolnCassiusClay47 t1_itegi8x wrote

Nothing in this world is a more terrifyingly ass-puckering sound than my mother yelling my first and middle name together.



NehEma t1_iterrtp wrote

And this is why I changed mine. She can't use what she doesn't know.

Taps forehead


PlaceboJesus t1_itf7ofa wrote

You never got called by all three names?
You must be some Johnnie-too-good


NickyXIII t1_itgcmv4 wrote

I'm now inspired for an RPG character that goes by "Johnnie-too-shoes"

...he sells shoes and is way too into them


RegularWhiteShark t1_itfo0ia wrote

The joys of not having a middle name!


Arcane_Opossum t1_itfoyj8 wrote

I only went by my middle since my parents decided to give me the human equivalent of Spot or Rover. Still can't stand it.


FinancialYou4519 t1_itg6nzk wrote

Top 10 scariest things; when your father answers the phone like ”hello? Yes this is him. He did what?!” Aaaaaw shit here we go again


iwanttobeacavediver t1_itjrdy8 wrote

My grandmother was expert at this. She sometimes didn't even have to say anything, just give this particular look which would stop you from doing whatever you were doing immediately.

She worked with alcoholics and drug addicts as well as general mental health patients and despite being under 5ft, she could put the fear of God into men who really could have easily taken her out.


Alas7ymedia t1_itex70m wrote

-"Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin! Leave that country alone!" -"But, ma..." -"Inside Kremlin Now!".


MySmartiesStink t1_itfjwlg wrote

James Aloyosious Francis Sean Patrick Lamborghini Houlihan! Get down offa tbat roof before I get the slipper!


MyCatThinksImNeat t1_itdzko6 wrote

You can be gruff and tough all you want. You can swing pickaxes and hammers and beat your chest in front of all the other prisoners...but if you had a good mother growing up, the last thing you want to do is disappoint her. Never underestimate the power of a pissed off mom.


NehEma t1_itesj2v wrote

One of my best friends' mom says "[firstname], my child, I'm sad and disappointed".

She's not even mine but it chills me to the bone. (although she might be the closest thing I have to one ig)


epochpenors t1_itesywz wrote

Of course, Ed Kemper killed his mother and fucked her head. I’m not quite sure who you’d go to to get him back in line…


TolerateButHate t1_itenhdj wrote

Motherfucker got a howler from Harry Potter


lordatomosk t1_iteqcv9 wrote

I wonder if this inspired that scene in Night’s Watch where Ankh-Morpork’s soldiers get convinced to stop fighting rioters after their moms shame them


lagoon83 t1_itfz1vc wrote

All the little angels rise up, rise up


BadgerSituation t1_itgnfl2 wrote

I wouldn't be surprised either way.

Pratchett was extensively well-read and referenced current events, history, and fiction more times than the average person would even notice.

But he also had a deep understanding of people and would easily come to the conclusion that a man is still a boy to his mother.


blackbirdbluebird17 t1_ithv0id wrote

Also in several of the Lancre witches books, King Verence is very careful not to give his army* orders that go against Nanny Ogg’s instructions, because he knows who’s scarier.

*Shawn Ogg


lordatomosk t1_iti2zyn wrote

Gotta respect the Lancre chain of command*

*Nanny Ogg


BitterSweetDesire t1_ite6ny9 wrote

The good ol irish Mammy


Thick-Signature-4946 t1_itg5p1l wrote

Your man heard his mam and went quietly so he did.

Having worked with many Irish over the years. Few are better than the Irish at telling a good story.


atomicxblue t1_its6i7h wrote

Mammy muttering under her breath, "Feckin gobshites."


BitterSweetDesire t1_its7hk2 wrote

More like,

"Jesus Jimmy get down now before the neighbours see or I'll bate the living bejaysus outta you and yer poxy friends"



KirisBeuller t1_itdwfnf wrote

"Dude, he's getting his mom! She killed that bat the other day!"


DishGroundbreaking87 t1_itgie33 wrote

Reminds me of catching teenage shoplifters in my retail years. “We’re going to call the police…” “Hah! Go ahead!!” “…who will call your mum.” “Nooooo!!! Please!!!” I remember the mums. More terrifying than any policeman.


iwanttobeacavediver t1_itjq7b2 wrote

Family friend of ours was a retired rural police officer. Being based in such a small place he knew everybody on sight and pretty much their family tree/relations to everybody else. He said much the same as you- particularly if it was a boy or younger man, a threat to come round to their house to speak to their mother worked better than any threat of arrest. In a lot of cases, word quickly got to the arrested person's mother and she'd come storming down the street with a rolling pin/spoon/broom in hand and start giving their son hell.

He actually jokingly said that they should have given all the village mothers police uniforms. The crime rate would be zero because everyone would be petrified of getting the spoon.


BisexualCaveman t1_itfreck wrote

His mom read him so thoroughly that his homeboys got embarrassed and surrendered too.

I can only imagine the cringe.


tom_boydy t1_itfvbdm wrote

Irish mammies are undefeated


locks_are_paranoid t1_item6re wrote

Malcolm in the Middle did it.


Careful_Yannu t1_itg83h5 wrote

I can even remember the scene, paraphrased:

> Lois: stares

> Dewey: (flat) "I'm cold. We should come down. This wasn't such a good idea. I'm scared. We're disappointing her-"

> Malcolm: (shaking him) "DEWEY! Stop looking at her!"


locks_are_paranoid t1_itgphmd wrote

I meant the episode with the motorcycle gang taking over the house and Dewey calling all of their mothers to make them leave. Were you talking about the billboard episode?


4feicsake t1_itgrh7t wrote

Don't mess with an Irish mammy.


MabezJK t1_itej4b0 wrote

Was her name Molly, by chance? Last name starts with W?


Kingauzzie t1_itgybu2 wrote

Surprised she needed a megaphone.


Granny_Nooooo t1_ithrxt1 wrote

There's nobody on the planet scarier than angry Irish women. Fkkn no one.


LevelPerception4 t1_itpcn2g wrote

Perhaps an angry Scottish woman. I once flipped my mother the bird on the way out the door. Unfortunately, she’d followed me into the room and saw it. Before I knew it, she had me pinned to the stairs and was smacking the shit out of me. Luckily, her yelling woke up my father and he intervened before she could “break that finger!”


Granny_Nooooo t1_itpcr7c wrote

You should have asked her if she was on her period. That always works.


LevelPerception4 t1_itpfmeh wrote

Omg. She was just waiting for me to back talk her. My mother was very passive aggressive. She turned off my alarm and woke me up 15 minutes late by telling me she’d made me pancakes. I never ate breakfast. So I’m bolting down the food as fast as I can without actually gagging, I’ve got 25 minutes to shower, get dressed and make it to the bus stop…and she sits down across from me with her cup of tea, fixes me with a cold stare, and says, “So. When are you going to clean your room?”

I’ve never been a morning person. My mother had to wake me up for preschool. And nobody can push your buttons like the person who installed them!


DoallthenKnit2relax t1_ith57vd wrote

Ignore the law, ignore the guards, Ignore the warden, if you must.

But don’t ignore mom!


Aroclor t1_itg4wda wrote



Wowzaha t1_itg61vh wrote

Mother-power, THE original super power


kickasstimus t1_ithmyjw wrote

She used his middle name.

That’s the Scottish and Irish version of abuela and a her chancla.

“Get off the fookin’ roof ya dopey bastard!”

And away they did go …


FunkLoudSoulNoise t1_ithp54a wrote

They showed the prison closure on Irish tv and one of the last prisoners being brought to the boat was a man I used to buy Cannabis from. Loads of history on that small island. Its closure brought a huge Heroin problem to the nearby city as that jail was relatively Heroin free and the youth offenders were shipped to another youth prison, St Pat's Dublin which was full of it and those prisoners came back addicted and had made connections to suppliers in St Pats. I personally believed it was deliberate as at the same time there was a large never seen before Cannabis shortage in the city and Ireland was flooded with Heroin from the war in Afghanistan. Pre Afghan war Heroin use had dropped dramatically.


ReadBeered t1_itid9x6 wrote

That’s fucked up. He’s already in prison, they didn’t have to add to it and call his mom.


Solidsnakeerection t1_itmq10c wrote

Its funny because it was a dilapidated former military fort that prisoners were stuffed into with out regards to their safety or if there was room


Good1stak3n t1_itet7ux wrote

No one... I mean no one wants to here nagging for that long. Especially over a mega phone.


mjolnir76 t1_itg3w1e wrote

It’s like if the Howler from Harry Potter came to life.


HWGA_Exandria t1_ith4ubt wrote

Please tell me someone transcribed it...


daveashaw t1_ithbml0 wrote

My Mom, God rest her soul, could have pulled this off.


Snorkelbender t1_itemahh wrote

So I guess she was a tiger or something.


Awellplanned t1_itezoxn wrote

If you want to hear a true horror story check out the New Mexico prison riots that happened in the 80s. No yelling mother was going to stop those savages.