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MyCatThinksImNeat t1_ixxkb18 wrote

As someone sucking on a mango, this post has made it even more awkward than it already was.


SEND_PUNS_PLZ t1_ixxkozc wrote

During menopause my mom always blamed me for her dry, ripened ovaries


macch82 t1_ixxlkff wrote

I could eat a peach for hours.


[deleted] t1_ixxm5qc wrote

My tongue always strives for the ovaries when eating the sweet, sweet fruit.


tankmissile t1_ixxpvm3 wrote

Same with vegetables. And when you smell flowers, you’re sticking your nose straight into its genitals. Pollen is plant sperm. You’re breathing plant sperm.


klakkr t1_ixxrt1i wrote

Yeah im blocking you


MentallyMusing t1_ixxtm0u wrote

I wonder when they'll start telling us what types of fruit seeds have to go through the digestive system of animals and redistributed into the soil to be properly processed in mother nature's rule book to produce more of it's kind. We're great at genetically engineering for convenience sake and gladly refer to it as such once it's been put into practice and the proceeds have become a standard gift for us to grow accustomed to without the knowledge of the alternative natural production. Kona coffee got me thinking about that years ago because the beans get pooped out, and collected recieving a natural processing that we created chemical processes and machinery to perform for other types of coffee and beans we're sold as consumers. Apparently the quality and taste is heads and tails above the rest often being spoken about as having no good comparison in the coffee market and the price reflects it... Who knows, maybe it's all rumor and marketing ploys


cosmernaut420 t1_ixxxlqc wrote

And a bouquet is just a big bundle of plant dicks.


No_Low_2541 t1_ixy3hnm wrote

Delicious stuff is often coming from sex organs. Sea urchin is one.


Jeramus t1_ixyfx88 wrote

TIL people forgot their biology lessons. Fruit has to come from some part of the plant.


H4llifax t1_ixz0byj wrote

More like a plant egg?


AgentElman t1_ixzhxh2 wrote

Wait until you hear what meat is.


Itchybumworms t1_ixzjo9t wrote

The smell of flowers and pollen in the spring is the scent of cum.


ExistingPosition5742 t1_iybivgi wrote

Yeah. Seasonal allergies are basically being allergic to plant jizz. Humans kinda caught in the mating season.

Sometimes I look out the window and see the pines dropping pollen and everything covered in yellow, and instead of going outside I just close the curtains, kinda embarrassed, and look away like "lemme give you your privacy". Plants have no sense of modesty.