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Labull416 t1_iydeuzh wrote

My question is how do you become a scientist who studies farts

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Landlubber77 t1_iydl58g wrote

Nobody sets out to initially, they just kind of fall gas backwards into it.

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gameshowmatt t1_iydmjbl wrote

Some people think this is their calling but all of a sudden out of nowhere they find out they are in fact a scatologist.

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Whatevernevermind2k t1_iydg2ua wrote

Flatologist, something that no careers advisor will see written on the job wish list form from someone.

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Bakasur279 t1_iydeoq1 wrote

3 kmph is quite low considering...facts.

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Jd20001 t1_iydk6an wrote

Flatologist: they who smelt it surely dealt it

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casualsax t1_iydt38h wrote

From another article:

>Anyone within about 4 ft. of the fart will experience the effects within about 5 minutes. In contrast, as shown on the right, someone positioned opposite the fart path (i.e. in front of the farter), they will notice a slight change in air quality that dissipates after about 4 minutes.

>Considering only the trajectory on the left, we therefore arrive at an answer to the original question: The speed of an average fart is about 8 inches per minute. This is about twice as fast as a sloth can walk, but slow enough that one can easily outrun them.

>Of course, in our controlled experiments the farts were trapped in a tube, whereas in a natural setting they would be acted upon by air circulating in the environment. Air flow is therefore likely to be the primary determinant of the spread of farts. Farts are slow on their own, but if you really want to avoid the stink, the best strategy is avoid being downwind.

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bit1101 t1_iydk7w1 wrote

I challenge anyone to a fart duel. Whoever smells the others first loses. No hand waving allowed.

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TaiDavis t1_iydkyr2 wrote

Assuming with pants off. But who farts mostly with pants off?

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Adiwik t1_iydl4qn wrote

Well that entirely depends on the stool inside and it's cries from how deep

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NFTY_GIFTY t1_iye6qv7 wrote

Scientists that study farts call themselves Scientists. What kind? Mind your own god damn business!

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someday_maybee t1_iyefzos wrote

I object, please.

The speed at which a flatulent eruption enters our atmosphere can be slowed down considerably if one uses a Mart Fuffler. You're welcome.

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ambushbugger t1_iyeopvy wrote

Hard gas doesnt travel as fast.

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SharpieBass t1_iyeujtm wrote

Are people that can throw their farts called fartriloquits?

1