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Jedbo75 t1_j030lhr wrote

That makes the term “cock” more ironic than I’d realized


HardPawns t1_j031j7i wrote

Yeah, by now it’s actually just taunting


TheAnt317 t1_j030o00 wrote

Me too, roosters. Me too....


WillingPublic t1_j04043k wrote

Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?


Khaldara t1_j04af3g wrote

I thought the Cloacal Kiss was a Golden Corral special


TarnishedGalahad t1_j03gaxa wrote

So since birds are descended from dinosaurs, does that mean the mighty T-Rex used this technique? Asking for a friend...


[deleted] OP t1_j03orrz wrote



TarnishedGalahad t1_j03pnj4 wrote

Like a marriage sack? A bag that one throws on their potential marriage choice? I doubt a t-rex could throw one far enough with those stumpy arms. Yep.


garry4321 t1_j03vm8f wrote

cant tell if this was said with absolutely ruthlessly saturated sarcasm, but I choose to believe it was. Like in my mind you ended it by shaking your head and looking at the guy next to you with a "Can you believe this clown" look.


mobitzIII t1_j053wrg wrote

weight of the scrote pulled its arms short....


flippythemaster t1_j04lq3x wrote

I'm not a paleontologist.

Since soft tissue doesn't fossilize, non-avian dinosaur reproductive organs are few and far between. But we have some ways of tackling this issue.

As far as I can tell, the presence of an endophallus (which is analogous but not homologous to a mammalian penis) which emerges from the cloaca is basal to archosauria, which is the clade to which dinosaurs (including modern birds), crocodilians, and pterosaurs belong. How do we know this? Crocodilians have one, and most modern birds have one. Birds that don't and use the cloacal kiss seem to have evolved to do so secondarily.

We also have a single fossil that indicates that Psittacosaurus, an ornithischian dinosaur, had a phallus that would emerge from its cloaca to aid in sperm depositing rather than using a cloacal kiss.

However, Psittacosaurus was an ornithischian dinosaur, and ornithischians are a branch that diverged from their common ancestor with saurischians, which is the branch to which theropods, which includes modern birds and T. rex, belong. So it's not necessarily a given that T. rex wouldn't have done the cloacal kiss.

At this point we're bumping up against the lack of evidence for non-avian saurischians, though. We know that there's a startling amount of internal diversity when it comes to the shape of the reproductive organs in modern theropods, so it's entirely probable that the ancient ones had a variety of options to choose from. Some have reconstructed the T. rex as participating in a cloacal kiss just like modern birds.

For me, though there's one thing that modern theropods don't have that mesozoic ones did--that's a long fleshy tail. While there seems to be a good amount of evidence that the tails, which provided the theropods with balance, were pretty flexible, I feel like the cloacal kiss posture becomes much more difficult when you aren't able to just ruffle the tail feathers out of the way. This, combined with the fact that having an endophallus is apparently the basal state, makes me think that T. rex would've needed some sort of hardware in order to reach its mate's cloaca to deposit the sperm.

I'm not a paleontologist though! So someone who knows more may come and correct me.


GoAheadMakeMySplay t1_j04v67g wrote

> I'm not a paleontologist.

Then proceeds to provide 6 paragraphs of information about dino junk

I'll admit that I had to stop about three sentences in to make sure I wasn't getting ShittyMorphed. Assuming you posted this in good faith I'd say you're squarely in the realm of "paleontology enthusiast"


flippythemaster t1_j04vt74 wrote

I think enthusiast is a fair descriptor. I follow paleontological news and took a paleontology class in college but I have a film degree and my day job is video editing. I’m pretty squarely in the “not-an-expert-but-enjoys-the-topic” category


wegqg t1_j069j91 wrote

I hereby award you an honorary doctorate in dinosaur penises.


Excellent-Practice t1_j058544 wrote

It sounds like it's not just a lack of evidence that those dinosaurs were bumping into


Macjeems t1_j04hb4q wrote

I believe there was once a science-based dragon RPG that covered this…


MattyKatty t1_j06bshr wrote

Birds did not descend from dinosaurs; they are the only extant species of dinosaurs.


barrycarter t1_j02zzlt wrote

I believe this is true for most or all birds and several reptiles. According to the highly educational (About 1:19 if you're impatient) anacondas do this as well, but it's even crazier as it's sort of a gangbang


laker9903 t1_j0343zt wrote

Yeah, but the anaconda don’t want none unless she’s got buns, hun.


platonicphil t1_j0390ue wrote

Do yourself a favour and don't Google duck penis.


Ruth_Goose12 t1_j04llyr wrote

But do google echidna penis, if you are morbidly curious. If I had to see it, it seems fair that everyone should.


AdultEnuretic t1_j03paza wrote

Anacondas don't do the cloacal kiss, they have hemipenes (it's like two penises, one for each side).


ziburinis t1_j05ko3o wrote

So do iguanas. And if you keep male iguanas as a pet you realize that they need to masturbate, so filling a tube sock with rice and putting it in the microwave to warm up is very common. And if you don't clean it the next time you use it, you feel your home with the warm aroma of nuked iguana jizz.


EvenSpoonier t1_j0312w3 wrote

On the opposite end of the spectrum, ducks do have a penis, but it is a thing of nightmares. As is basically everything else about duck reproduction.


oneir0naut0 t1_j03ci5x wrote

Grew up part of childhood on a farm. We had ducks and these three drakes would team up and if not stopped, gang rape hens to death. Two would pin the poor female down, while the third went at it, and then they would rotate positions. They'd keep this up until the hen died, and I think, even beyond that :(


Mbutu_O_Malley t1_j02zhsr wrote

I guess that answers what came first....the cloaca..

Waka waka waka <- that's Fozzy the Bear if you didn't notice.


MagicMushroomFungi t1_j03276h wrote

"We try our best not to notice you"
"Haha heehee"
(Two order gents in the balcony)


B-Town-MusicMan t1_j03511m wrote

Did I tell you the one about the man with the light bulb in his nose? He was lightheaded! Get it? Wocka Wocka Wocka!


BillTowne t1_j03dyja wrote

So, cocks don't have cocks?

This has to be the strangest usage since that time someone used "boebert" to mean brains.


Tolbitzironside t1_j0435i3 wrote

Cloacal kiss is the name of my future bluegrass metal band.


Iamthewalrus3333 t1_j02yxwl wrote

All that KFC-themed hentai was a lie!


canalrhymeswithanal t1_j02zjjm wrote

You want Wild Duck Burger hentai. Ducks are the ones with the lasso corkscrew dicks.


Beavshak t1_j030r7t wrote

Yet she only lets me kiss her on the beak with my cloaca on my eggday.


GravityTracker t1_j03c1lm wrote

Let me understand... You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?


rioed t1_j02z26n wrote



discreet1 t1_j04tlsq wrote

I saw a rooster "having sex" with a chicken once. Looked pretty awful to be honest. He just jumped on her, smashed into her a few times, then jumped off. They both walked away like nothing.


GenXCub t1_j02yjq5 wrote

A Baja Blast if you will...


HPmoni t1_j031shp wrote

Poor birds.


Latyon t1_j033hek wrote

Me too.


DrZaius007 t1_j04g3zd wrote

Their testicles, when fried, are quite tasty.


SKPY123 t1_j04izzg wrote

The writer seems fond of ducks. Just sayin.


smpenn1968 t1_j04prva wrote

Well, that's nothing to crow about.


dudewafflesc t1_j04qsro wrote

Then why did we name the penis after this particular male animal?


zstandig t1_j04s6fx wrote

Only 3% of birds have them. Ostriches and ducks are among that 3%


redditdeigas t1_j04usgd wrote

Only about 2% of avians have a penis. They have …holes.


Zonerdrone t1_j04yipb wrote

Is that why they look so weird doing it? We had chickens as kids and the rooster looked like he was just squatting on top of the hens back.


tuckmyjunksofast t1_j051djw wrote

97% of bird species and the majority of reptiles species do not have a penis. Snakes and some lizards have 2, and certain species of ducks have very long corkscrew shaped ones.


Excellent-Practice t1_j058kev wrote

Can anyone break down the mechanics of this? Is there suction involved somehow, or do they just push themselves together really tightly?


davtruss t1_j05d9jm wrote

This sounds far too romantic. If you have a good sized chicken run with say 25-50 chickens, too many roosters can result in the hens having no feathers on their backs where the roosters hang on. And you don't even want to know what a gang of roosters does to the weakling roosters.

This is why the life cycle of the rooster should include the stew pot or frying pan.


roberttheaxolotl t1_j06mfc8 wrote

This is true of many bird species, though lots of birds still have some kind of phallus for delivering sperm. Ducks have a crazy looking spiral penis, that in some species, can be longer than the duck's body. The penis falls off after mating season, and he grows a new one every year.

The female duck has a vagina that also spirals, in the opposite direction.

There have been some crazy studies on how this works. The male's penis sort unrolls outwards, explosively, and can fill just about any shape. There are videos of researchers getting a duck all excited into various plastic tubes of all manner of shape.


cqmqro76 t1_j07543m wrote

It's a cockless cock.


substantial-freud t1_j07czrt wrote

“Come for the ‘cock’ jokes. Stay for the ‘come for the “cock” jokes’ jokes.”


Splunge- t1_j033ow9 wrote

Like a Glasgow kiss, but less messy.


inkandhowl t1_j03eiss wrote

No. Nope. I'm not clicking this.


herbw t1_j03rxzx wrote

That is clearly the Fowlast claim have ever heard.


come_lil_closer t1_j03snbf wrote

The irony of using "cock" as an alternative to penis...


icanith t1_j03vpf5 wrote

God I hope there is a critical failures series fans in here.


Empereor_Norton t1_j04117s wrote

"pump their sperm into females using a 'cloacal kiss' — a move that presses together the male and female cloacas, openings used for waste excretion and copulation"

So chickens do anal


cmde44 t1_j043vsa wrote

If you read the article it turns out ducks are packing some major heat though. Units half the length of their body! I guess the saying, "does a duck's boner drag weeds?" has truth to it.


canopenerboy t1_j043xc3 wrote

I'm pretty sure that's Dementors.


pickleer t1_j04nemr wrote

Otherwise, we'd be surrounded by Rooster Cock products (and you thought Cock flavor soup was bad enough)!


square3481 t1_j04xnrl wrote

Cloacal Kiss would be an excellent name for a rock band.


Hexadecimal3 t1_j0562x1 wrote

TIL: Cocks don’t have cocks.


RollRollShotgun2 t1_j05l8ef wrote

Was the image blurred since it was a shot of a large cock?


fish-fingered t1_j05rjwx wrote

This is also how women in Alabama get pregnant


deemsterDMT t1_j05s39k wrote

So we still gonna call it a cock??


Comprehensive-Leg752 t1_j063539 wrote

Well, we "pump sperm into females" too. It's just alot more....intimate.


baldeagleNL t1_j067i3b wrote

You misspelled "birds". Most male birds don't have penises.


brettyrocks t1_j06c3s7 wrote

Cocks don't have cocks? Wow.


DragonOne t1_j06dccx wrote

The Cock is not a Penis.

Imo that should be the title.


NoxiousWalrus t1_j0500yv wrote

Hey TIL I have something in common with roosters.