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Old_timey_brain t1_j06rvhm wrote

Thanks for the kind thoughts. Right back atcha.

Mine is only diagnosed in the last four years, but the symptoms had been around essentially forever.

Prior to diagnosis I had been in a private residence to purchase a used item they had advertised, and discovered a particularly unusual hell for the mom and kids of the guy that lived there. I recognize now what I was seeing was someone behaving as if they were having a strong onset of level II attack, and were at the angry fight the tormentor stage. And god help anyone in the blast radius. I stood at the front entrance inspecting the item, and watched this giant of a man stride through the area in full fury, raging at the world, and even glaring at me and shouting, "Who even buys things like this used?!!". The retort, which remained unspoken, was, "who even lists them?".

Everybody around was cringing physically while he ranted, and before he headed out to his workshop and solitude.

I'd be willing to bet that when he is not suffering an attack, he is a good and loving father. He was certainly providing well enough.

And now I realize it truly is better for all involved for me to have remained single. There are times when I simply must shout out my demons, and this is something nobody else needs to hear. It would be too damaging for the average person.

On another note, the day is peaceful and quiet, thank you. Up early, clear headed and productive, and loving it. Christmas carols sung in stone cathedrals playing in the background. Good food, good coffee. All is well for the next hour and that is good enough.