Submitted by Pfeffer_Prinz t3_10jfshm in todayilearned
The letter:
> My Most Illustrious Lord,
> Having now sufficiently seen and considered the achievements of all those who count themselves masters and artificers of instruments of war, and having noted that the invention and performance of the said instruments is in no way different from that in common usage, I shall endeavour, while intending no discredit to anyone else, to make myself understood to Your Excellency for the purpose of unfolding to you my secrets, and thereafter offering them at your complete disposal, and when the time is right bringing into effective operation all those things which are in part briefly listed below:
> 1. I have plans for very light, strong and easily portable bridges with which to pursue and, on some occasions, flee the enemy, and others, sturdy and indestructible either by fire or in battle, easy and convenient to lift and place in position. Also means of burning and destroying those of the enemy.
> 2. I know how, in the course of the siege of a terrain, to remove water from the moats and how to make an infinite number of bridges, mantlets and scaling ladders and other instruments necessary to such an enterprise.
> 3. Also, if one cannot, when besieging a terrain, proceed by bombardment either because of the height of the glacis or the strength of its situation and location, I have methods for destroying every fortress or other stranglehold unless it has been founded upon a rock or so forth.
> 4. I have also types of cannon, most convenient and easily portable, with which to hurl small stones almost like a hail-storm; and the smoke from the cannon will instil a great fear in the enemy on account of the grave damage and confusion.
> 5. Also, I have means of arriving at a designated spot through mines and secret winding passages constructed completely without noise, even if it should be necessary to pass underneath moats or any river.
> 6. Also, I will make covered vehicles, safe and unassailable, which will penetrate the enemy and their artillery, and there is no host of armed men so great that they would not break through it. And behind these the infantry will be able to follow, quite uninjured and unimpeded.
> 7. Also, should the need arise, I will make cannon, mortar and light ordnance of very beautiful and functional design that are quite out of the ordinary.
> 8. Where the use of cannon is impracticable, I will assemble catapults, mangonels, trebuckets and other instruments of wonderful efficiency not in general use. In short, as the variety of circumstances dictate, I will make an infinite number of items for attack and defence.
> 9. And should a sea battle be occasioned, I have examples of many instruments which are highly suitable either in attack or defence, and craft which will resist the fire of all the heaviest cannon and powder and smoke.
> 10. In time of peace I believe I can give as complete satisfaction as any other in the field of architecture, and the construction of both public and private buildings, and in conducting water from one place to another.
> Also I can execute sculpture in marble, bronze and clay. Likewise in painting, I can do everything possible as well as any other, whosoever he may be.
> Moreover, work could be undertaken on the bronze horse which will be to the immortal glory and eternal honour of the auspicious memory of His Lordship your father, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.
> And if any of the above-mentioned things seem impossible or impracticable to anyone, I am most readily disposed to demonstrate them in your park or in whatsoever place shall please Your Excellency, to whom I commend myself with all possible humility.
(note: a trebucket is a trebuchet)
A particularly baller resume. And with some baller lines - “ Likewise in painting, I can do everything possible as well as any other, whosoever he may be.”
"Especially that bastard Michelangelo"
"I'll paint your church, gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dicks out on the walls tho."
He doesn't even mention that other than Andreas Vesalius no one else knew jack shit about human anatomy and he's producing detailed drawings that were groundbreaking.
It was highly illegal to dissect and examine the human body in Leonardo’s time. The body was thought to be sacred, and holy, and shall not be messed with. This thinking did not dissuade Leonardo and others to fully examine corpses hidden in the basement...
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Eowyn: I am no he.
>5. Also, I have means of arriving at a designated spot through mines and secret winding passages constructed completely without noise, even if it should be necessary to pass underneath moats or any river
What does he mean by this? He builds tunnels without noise?
>And if any of the above-mentioned things seem impossible or impracticable to anyone, I am most readily disposed to demonstrate them in your park or in whatsoever place shall please Your Excellency, to whom I commend myself with all possible humility
Such a nice little paragraph. Highly confident in demonstrating his abilities but commending himself with all possible humility.
Well balanced, Leo.
>He builds tunnels without noise?
Yep. Mining was a widely used siege tactic where you dig a tunnel under the enemy walls and then collapse the tunnel to bring down the wall. However, this activity could be heard from the defenders on the surface who would then dig counter mines to fight the miners.
ok but where does the lack of noise that Da Vinci was talking about come in? That shit doesn't even exist today.
I read it as him saying he had a quiet enough method that it couldn't be (easily) detected. No idea what that method was, though.
Probably something based on his other disciplines, like saturating and collapsing the ground, or a lightweight portable bronze meerkat on a stick to deflect suspicion.
Probably the meerkat tbh
"fun fact! The enemy cannot hear you mining if you simply kill them all first. Allow me to demonstrate! I shall need a volunteer..."
It’s likely to have involved some men aboveground who would, at the opportune moment, clear their throats quite loudly and boisterously - thus masking the sounds of the miners belowground.
This is total speculation, but anyway:
Underground warfare made a brief resurgence in WW1, because the front lines in Flanders were on top of soft chalk and the trench lines meant that the Western Front devolved into siege warfare. Counter-mining was also a serious concern, so the troops digging the tunnels would sometimes drill holes, soak the rock with vinegar to soften it further, then scrape away the top layer and repeat. This was a lot quieter than just hacking away with a pick.
its easy you just put pillows over the rock and the fortress thinks somebody is having a pillow fight instead of invading from underground
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Salesmanship, probably. His “covered vehicle” designs don’t seem particularly practical either.
I mean he also said he could build cannon proof structures, he is exaggerating.
Or if merely collapsing the mine wasn't enough, they'd pack explosives in it and set them off. It's where we get the word landmine.
One of those held the record for largest non nuclear explosion for most of the 20th century.
In fact, it has a name - sapping and is done by sappers (trench diggers). Digging under enemy fortifications is called undermining and is where that word originated. Neither undermining or taking down walls was used all that often from what I've read - laying siege and starving the enemy was easier and less deadly (and if that fails, salt their fields and poison their wells before you leave...).
Probably well known because it was used in some extremely famous sieges. Constantinople, Siege of Vienna etc
The response:
>Thank you for taking the time to consider Duke of Milan. Our hiring team reviewed your application carefully and we'd like to inform you that we are not able to advance you to the next round for the military engineering position at this time. We wish you the best of luck with your job search.
Then they proceed to hire the worst possible candidate who bs'd the most
> Moreover, work could be undertaken on the bronze horse which will be to the immortal glory and eternal honour of the auspicious memory of His Lordship your father, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.
Uh oh
You know what happened to that horse, right?
Yeah. I saw Hudson Hawk.
No, what happened?
Side note: Fuck, Michelangelo was a prick...
Nothing, it was never made
"master of oop"
"Also, if Your Excellency should desire the covert elimination of certain unwanted persons, and without undue resort to sound and fury, I count among my closest associates a certain Signore Auditore, who shall no doubt find it an utmost pleasure to expedite Your Excellency's enemies' journeys to the Lord's side."
Isn’t this a cover letter resume hybrid?
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I love the humility in the end :)
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