If it could be drawn as a straight border, we wouldn’t be having this conversation—no one would care if it were off by a few feet one way or the other. It matters because it’s off by more than half a mile in places, and can’t be just hand-waved away as “straight enough”… which is the point of the article, that Colorado actually has 600whatever sides.

In measuring coastlines, there is no “straight enough.” It’s ALWAYS changing. You say you don’t need to account for every grain of sand. Fine, what about every large rock outcrop? Every small inlet? Every major bay? The length is 100% dependent on what measuring stick you use, and there is no right answer for which is the correct measuring stick.