Pomelo-jello t1_j8bkjhb wrote on February 13, 2023 at 2:27 AM

Reply to comment by Primary-Cap-3147 in Vermont Public School Teachers- What Are Your Concerns? by Primary-Cap-3147

First thank you for working with young kids. But what shocks you in preschool behavior? Kids who are 3-4 are still very much learning to socialize. Lots of kids exhibit behaviors in response to the environments they are in - so, are they getting enough free play/self led time? Quiet time? Gentle coaching on social interactions?

Basically, nothing would shock me in preschool behavior. They are there to practice being part of a group several years before brain science tells us they truly understand what that means (age 6).

Primary-Cap-3147 OP t1_j8i5ua7 wrote on February 14, 2023 at 2:20 PM

I guess I would classify them as abnormally entitled behaviors? I worked in an EC center over a decade ago with 2-3 year olds. Sure, there was hitting and hoarding and all sorts of age appropriate-yet-maladaptive behaviors. I'm now subbing in a 4-5 year old class, and I'm seeing not just the aggression (that really should have been put in check by 3), but wildly age inappropriate aggression.

The other day, a 4 year old went up to another girl and declared her his girlfriend. She seemed on board enough to humor him, but then he wouldn't stop following her around. I waited on the primary teachers cue, who just said, "we don't do boyfriend and girlfriend here, just friends," and let it be, but the kid really persisted in invading her space. This went on until the point where she started saying, "no, stop, you're not my boyfriend." We were outside at this point, and he started grabbing her arm and yanking her towards him, until I went right up to his face, and pretty bluntly commanded him to let her go, saying "what did she just tell you?"

His eyes went as wide as saucers, and was in shock. Clearly no adult in his life had ever told this kid what he can't do to another person, and he ran off crying. I explained to him after why he had to respect other kids boundaries, and he seemed receptive, but I was left pretty stunned to see a 4 year old do that.

That's the most shocking example, but there is a pervasive attitude of (mostly the boys) that they are in charge. Maybe I'm sensitive to this kind of thing, but if that's now normal, I don't want my kid anywhere near it lol.