Submitted by Substantial-Ad-3428 t3_11znpi1 in vermont
This is probably a strange question, but here goes. I don't live in VT, but my brother-in-law does. He is in the process of getting a divorce (not filed yet). His soon-to-be ex-wife has a boyfriend that she has been seeing for the last 5 months. My BIL claims that it is a VT LAW that he has to meet this new boyfriend (he says according to his lawyer). Can this be true? There is a custody issue of 1 child.
I didn't think it could possibly be a law (Google didn't help and I'm not about to read through the entire library of VT law on divorce). The weird thing is that my BIL says he doesn't WANT to meet the BF, but he HAS to. My BIL is kinda crazy though, lol.
He absolutely does not have to, but not wanting to this strongly is uh... odd. Especially if this person is going to be in his child's life.
I'd encourage him to put the past behind him and move forward in a healthier manner. If they can all find a way to be cordial, that's going to be the best possible outcome for the kids. Tell him he can hate them all he wants on his own time, but he's a big boy now and needs to figure out how to drop whatever he is stuck on. I recognize I'm being harsh towards him and this could also easily be an issue on the other side as well, I don't know the situation. I just know it's best for the kids if ALL the adults could figure out how to grow up a bit and move forward.
Absolutely this. Thank you!!!
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How did your end up. I ended up with every other weekend and taking my ex to court ever other month citing her latest stint in rehab or with addiction until about 3 years later court finally gave me 50/50. Not full custody mind you because she was getting help, and relapsing every few months but still getting help.
Similar thing with my brother except he finally got custody after 6 months in court because theom stopped sending the kid to school for 4 months because she didn't want to get up and help him get ready.
VT custody laws are so slanted toward the mother it is crazy.
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That is wonderful. My ex eventually got clean and we are friends again. I’m part of her younger child’s life as well as his dad took off. It was just frustrating as it really was eye opening as to how fucked up VT custody defaults were.
It's not a law, and if it is it's dumb and no one follows it.
That said, MANY parents choose to put a clause in their divorce agreement saying that they will give an opportunity to the other parent to meet a new significant other BEFORE the children meet them. But this is usually a mutual respect thing and something done when EVERYONE'S focus is on what is best for the kids involved. This does not work and would be dangerous in abusive or unstable situations, hence the reason I'm sure it can't possibly be a law.
This may be what your BIL was thinking about.
That is some seriously insane mental gymnastics
That is an old wives tale. When I was stationed in Alaska there were similar rumors floating around.
BIL lol
Bit of a sketchy weird post
Your BIL needs to read “Divorce in Vermont” updated edition, by Nicholas Hayden and Cynthia Broadfoot. There are a lot of quirky laws in this state, and this book covers them - but won’t replace a lawyer, if needed. Having to meet his ex’s boyfriend isn’t one of them, however.
Lol, that is not true at all. Sorry man.
No, it is not law. He can attempt to have some language included in the parenting plan about meeting new partners, or not having the child meet a new partner until the relationship has lasted x amount of time, but there is no guarantee of that.
Wait…my brother-in-law’s soon to be ex-wife…
You mean your sister?
Edit: I’m dumb. Your wife’s brother’s wife.
I’m thinking OP’s BIL is his wife’s brother.
Hahahaha! This is not a thing.
Might want to meet the guy who is going to be using the child support for vacations and toys
4ak96 t1_jddan1a wrote
lmfao no this isnt a thing 😂😂
dude man probably just wants to smack the BF around (not cool)