Vermont as a state government is pretty protective of gay rights. Most communities also are very accepting. I fit the B in LGBTQ acronym, and raised my oldest child in a good sized lesbian community, but we also lived in a pretty accepting average Vermont rural community, where we raised our kids. And that was more than 25 years ago. People have grown increasingly accepting since then.

Like anyplace, there are some jerks. But I completely understand your fear in Florida. Ironically, some of my dear lesbian friends with whom I raised our kids have retired to Florida.

thanks for sharing your experience. I think if you're not gonna plan to be pregnant or send your kids to public school, Florida is probably okay, but I'm in a stage of life where I do not feel comfortable living here any longer.

Cost of living here is very high, but if you can afford it, I believe the quality of life is worth the expense. I live in a small but very liberal town and my kids have several classmates being raised by same sex couples. My kids have LGBTQIA friends who are able to be out safely, and my middle schooler belongs to her school's pride alliance. There are two local school principals who are a married lesbian couple (at different schools, obviously). Not everywhere in VT will be like that though, so definitely research first. Maybe take a family vacation up here and travel around getting a feel for different towns?

Winter is scary but what is happening in Florida is scarier. You will find Vermont is the polar opposite of DeSantis' agenda as far as queer acceptance, abortion rights and education. But the cost of living is high and there is a housing crunch pretty much all over the state right now. And on the other hand, you'll love the people and sense of community. Good luck!

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I have gay family members in VT. They love it and it seems VT is very gay friendly, notwithstanding rednecks scattered about, but there’s no state immune to ignorance and hate. What I like most about Vermonters’ attitude toward the LGBT community is that you wouldn’t even know it’s a thing, it’s “normal,” really. I see what you mean about what is happening in Florida, and the movement toward fascist ideologies is definitely troubling. I think you’d feel right at home in VT. On a separate note, covid brought people from NYC and CT to VT in droves, and property values are still nuts. Anything “affordable” (under $300k) is a probably a fixer upper. I know FL real estate is sky high as well, just thought I’d throw that in, lest you think it’s cheaper in VT

I’m straight but both of my kids are exploring who they are. The communities and schools here are super inclusive. There are some redder areas that will be less friendly - but even in those, if one of you are able to join the volunteer fire/ems service it will go a long way to build respect even with the silly trumpers/don’t tread on me crowd.

Something I was not prepared for here was the hunting. My problem, for sure, but hearing gunfire almost every day when I lived in the sticks was traumatic for me. I’m much happier now in a little town, and ironically my kids love it as they can walk about and have fun with their buddies.

omg how do you avoid getting shot? are there signs to tell you where the hunting territory is?

well, maybe I'd at least save in terms of homeowners' insurance. last year I paid $4K, this year I'm paying $6K.

thanks! yeah I'm willing to accept that housing may be difficult to find. at least maybe I would save on homeowner's insurance. it's sky-high in Florida right now.

I'm in Burlington and you would be a-ok. I've got 2 kids at the public HS in Burlington and the kids and parents are whatever they are and it's just fine. Ive seen a number of gay couples at school events. The head of the Burlington School District (I think? Someone high up in the system) sent a lovely email about transgender rights the other day and they've had these education/listening events around lgbtq issues. So it's not just "nobody cares do whatever" they make a real effort to be inclusive and kind and that extends to the kids.

Yes. Everyone here is well aquatinted with where they can hunt. But ultimately for me, while I was on 70 acres, I could hear the gunfire elsewhere and for me alone it was a problem. I’m now in a condo but have a protected 95 acre public back yard. With trails and loads of wildlife. Heaven for me.

ETA My horses and dogs were also freaked out by the gunfire, so not just me. I absolutely love Vermont but for this one thing, and the happy median I found was where I am now.

went to college with a lot of people from MA and southern NH. this is true.

Mainly, we wear day glow orange hats and the like. I fully support hunting and hunters. I invite them to hunt on my back forty, which is overpopulated with tick carrying deer. For my wife, wearing day glow orange has turned into somewhat of a Vermont fashion statement...

I've found Vermont to be very accepting of gays and lesbians. We had our "Take Back Vermont" moment. Some of the more rural in flavor are still mumbling about that, but they're the minority. I suspect you and your kids would be very happy here. Part of the reason housing is so expensive, so I've read, is that Vermont has turned into a haven for those like you. Edit: There was initially a considerably influx from suburbanites fleeing Covid. There's no other state I'd want to live in. It's here or northern Europe for me.

We are a gay married couple raising our kids near Montpelier but in a rural enough setting to have some land, horses, chickens. It’s been great from an acceptance standpoint but challenging from a community standpoint. Not many other families with same sex parents. Almost our entire community is made of up straight people which can be a bummer even though they’re lovely people. It’s a wonderful place to raise kids but we lack diversity in almost every way and yes, it’s expensive.

Just go somewhere else, if you’re outside of Burlington area be prepared to get stared at and be judged by older folks.

It’s not some fairyland where gay people are openly accepted. Many people will try to paint it that way but reality is harsh, and unfortunately many will not like your lifestyle and choices in more rural Vermont.

If you buy a house now you will be trapped with record high interest rates and a market looming on collapse/correction. In three years of purchasing my home it went from 140k to 260k. Even if you get a home for an affordable rate you’ll probably be screwed out of work.

Do yourself a favor and move to California or Massachusetts and get a job there. You’ll be far better off and more likely then not accepted more than you would be up here.

I’m bi and if I decide to have kids I’m doing it in Vermont. my younger sister was “the straight friend” surrounded by a gaggle of delightful bi and lesbian high schoolers in 2015. I was raised in an evangelical community in Chittenden County but bigoted christians don’t have the political power or cultural influence in Vermont that they have in the rest of the country and they also don’t feel the…default entitlement to it, I guess you could say??? I think they perceive themselves as outnumbered (they are) and they definitely perceive the state itself as nonreligious.

I went to two different state colleges in the 2010s and was surrounded by LGBTQ students and I was so proud of how open and accepting people were.

There is prejudice in Vermont, but in my experience it’s just assholes outing themselves as assholes and issues with police that are inevitable anywhere in the US but mild in Vermont by comparison. my sister has expressed concerns about the state becoming more republican but I don’t think the cultural foundation of the state is crumbling.

Also, the local music/arts is wonderful all over the state and Vermonters are the best audiences, regardless of if it’s a big concert or just five people in a bar, regardless of genre.

and a lot of what is great about Vermont is true about parts of NH and MA as well.

I’m hoping to buy a house near where I grew up in Vermont soon. I’m also unsure if I can afford it but I’m thinking I might have to buy a place with one of my parents. I had to leave the state to get my career off the ground but I want to move home. That’s the struggle in Vermont, jobs and housing. The people are great and I miss them.

I mean, I don't mind if others don't accept homosexuality (in fact I have friends that don't, but still respect me as a human being), I just want to live in a place where there aren't laws against it. if I sent my kids to public school in Florida, for instance, and if other kids made fun of them for having gay parents, the teacher would legally not be able to make any reference whatsoever to sexual orientation (in order to explain to kids that they should not bully another kid based on their parents being gay). I don't care what others think, I just care about discriminatory legislation.

Also consider that the average property tax in VT is just over 4k. Income tax 3.35%-8.75%.

Sources: https://www.rocketmortgage.com/learn/property-taxes-by-state

https://taxfoundation.org/state/vermont/

As a 802 native, I highly reccomend coming up here. Yeah, the winters suck, but Ive been out and proud for years now, and Ive had little to no issues with it. I highly reccomend looking into where here in vermont you pick because it does matter as for crime/drugs/schooling goes. Barre, Rutland, and Burlington are the last place you wanna go. Me and my spouse are starting our family here because of how safe it is.

Hope this helps!😊

To be clear, that matters more if you're very rural. If you're in one of the "cities" or town centers, you won't notice.

thanks! what is an 802 native?

also, why avoid the towns you mentioned? is there crime/drugs? expensive?

right now I pay $1K in property tax and $6K annually in homeowner's insurance, so I would take $4K for property tax.

Yes, actually! Its so bad we call them 'scary Barre and rut-vegas' because of the drugs and crime, and burlington is lakeside real estate, so yeah, expensive.

And 802 is just the state area code. Im just born and raised here is all.

I'm a big 2A supporter. I just don't want to be near other people's firearms lol.

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I always reccomend st. Johnsbury, stowe, or any collage town, really. I know that montpelier has good schools and are really liberal, but it is the capitol and it can be expensive, but its central and cheaper then burlington.

The moose are particularly vicious to gay couples up here.

Totally get why you'd want to get out of Florida. Plus, there is a certain amount of stress that comes with living in a place where everything seems to be telling you that you aren't welcome and you may not realize how much it is weighing you down until it is removed. Essex County went red in 2016 and 2020, so that may not be the ideal location in your case, but the rest of the counties in Vermont will probably be varying degrees of accepting. Vermont rural is not Florida rural. (And Vermont crime is not Florida crime.) Cost of living is high in general, but where you live really affects affordability. NEK is cheap, Burlington is expensive, Stowe is where the millionaires play.

Winter is fine if you are prepared for it (dress for the cold so it doesn't feel like winter when you go outside) and make friends with it (don't spend all winter hiding in your house). I'd actually be more concerned if I were you about how much you need to have access to a large variety of commerce, restaurants, clubs, non-nature-based entertainment etc.. If you need that, you will not be happy in Vermont. If you think, like I do, that a fulfilling day is wandering around and staring at trees and rocks and water, you'll be in paradise on earth.

Also, look at Massachusetts, if you can afford it. It's got a fantastic record and is a lot more busy if that is what you like.

Thanks for your insight. Where is NEK?

The Northeast Kingdom is the three counties of Caledonia, Orleans, and Essex in Northeast Vermont. It’s rural, it’s rough around the edges, and it has lots of natural beauty.

Coming from FL, you would probably feel most comfortable in chittenden county or one of VT’s more “metro” areas. You will find more inclusive attitudes and overt value of diversity, and it is just a very different vibe than the pure country farmland of our beautiful neighboring areas. I know multiple chittenden county transplants from Florida that love it!

Agreed - lifelong Vermonter here. You’re looking for western MA, OP

The school superintendent is big into trans rights and supporting trans kids. It is kind of awesome, actually.

Vermont provides some really good family opportunities regardless gay or straight. Vermont is an overwhelmingly accepting place, but be aware that like any other place there are the haters - but you'll get community support to overcome them.

Since you can kill a baby for any reason or no reason at all in VT and everything is accepted it does make you wonder - is anything at all wrong and why?

Grew up in Western MA, college at UVM, moved to Florida in 1980, in 2002 bought house in S. Vermont, spent about 8 months a year there for 13 years and 4 months a year in Maine since.

Getting out of Florida will do wonders for your outlook, unbelievable what is happening now. Hilltowns outside Northampton are great, due to 5 college area. Housing grows more expensive closer you get to Northampton. Greenfield is sort of funky but nice. I know Brattleboro in S Vermont well and the area is very liberal, a bit on the feeling superior side. But very nice people and a place you could enjoy, I believe (as you could Western MA). Brattleboro housing is much more affordable. Tax wise what you save in insurance will disappear in property taxes plus you have sales tax and income tax (Vermont & MA). Both states have outrageous taxes, compared to Florida. New Hampshire wins tax-wise. One thing you may think about, unlike Florida where school systems are county wide, in New England each town has a school board that sets school budgets and really determines the quality of education. Research well, great variances. Good Luck.

Gay Vermonter with 4 adopted kids, three of whom graduated from public high school here. All three have had higher education in Vermont and will continue to live here. Both state law and the culture of “live and let live” are highly protective of families who are different. I wish their education were a bit more rigorous but in terms of my sexuality there wasn’t a significant problem. And btw we all love Vermont winters!

Vermont is a great place for the lgbtq community, most people are very accepting and Vermont was one of the first states to legalize gay marriage, so I don’t think you or your wife will have any problem regarding your orientation, but you might have a hard time finding a house, or one at an affordable price, because Vermont is currently in the midst of a housing crisis that was exaggerated due to Covid and people moving up from the major cities.

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The drugs/crime level in VT are super low compared to FL, even in the worst spots. It's all relative.
Figure out if you can be ok with being away from city things like grocery stores, takeout, movies, etc. I'm 45 min from the nearest stoplight and get my groceries once a month. I live in a pretty rural area (obviously). If you need those city trappings, you'll have to live in a larger town. Best of luck with the housing situation.
Btw, I grew up in VT but moved to FL in my early 20s. I escaped 16 years later and moved back home. Best decision ever.

Hunting is everywhere unless the property is posted. You can look up the Vermont Fish and Wildlife regulations. There are different seasons you should be aware of. Rifle season is the main one. But its shorter than the rifle season in FL. In rural areas (most of VT) you might hear folks target practicing or sighting in guns in preparation for hunting. It's not a big deal.

Vermont is liberal but also a big gun supporting state. There are a lot of gun owners here...

I think is pretty accurate, especially getting hosed on a house. When the collapse comes here, and it will come, a lot of people are going to be paying for some very overvalued houses.

There are many other gay-friendly states and all of them have higher vacancy rates. Would you be working in Vermont? If so, you could consider moving here, but the housing issue is such that it will be difficult or impossible to find a job in the state that comes close to paying for housing. if you're moving here to work from home, be aware you are gentrifying locals out of the state. If that doesn't bother you, fine. If locals hate you here it will be if you are a work from home yuppie, not because of who you sleep with.