Phish100 t1_iuad7li wrote
Reply to comment by pearlescentVidrio in All you schmucks told me to get off Robinhood, now I have $15,000 frozen in a closed TD Ameritrade account by [deleted]
Money started and ended in the same bank account lmao. You don’t know what u talking abt
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuadhob wrote
I do actually. You deposited “dirty” money and got back “clean” money. It’s fungible. You had no source before, which is why you had ACH problems. Now you do, TD/“investing.”
This is my line of work. You literally performed money laundering, albeit shittily.
AutoModerator t1_iuadhpu wrote
How about you funge on deez nuts. right clicks erotically
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[deleted] OP t1_iuav5d0 wrote
[removed]
computermademedoit t1_iualrfn wrote
OP is dumb but theres no part of this story that allows you to know for sure the money was dirty when it was deposited. All we know it was a cashiers check.
He committed fraud on the paper work, thats known. But we don't KNOW that he laundered dirty money. You just suspect it.
Settle down sherlock holmes
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuannxp wrote
That’s now how AML compliance works.
The burden of proof is reversed. He has to prove it was/is clean.
Until then, it’s dirty. This isn’t a “beyond a reasonable doubt” criminal proceeding.
computermademedoit t1_iuavtky wrote
Even if I granted you this, which is sort of silly since this is a subreddit post and not an AML compliance review, it sounds like everything was fine. Sounds like they are releasing his money after hours on the phone with customer service.
I once deposited 100 dollars into a sports book because I saw odds online and I wanted to make a bet. When I got to the sportsbook the odds had changed. I withdrew my 100 dollars and they put it on a hold for similiar issue - to prevent money laundering. I told them what happened, sent my ID, then eventually released my funds.
Did I launder money there? No, clearly not, though the burden of proof to the casino may have fallen on me I did not in fact launder money.
And very likely OP didn't launder money either. He deposited money, found out he couldn't trade options, withdrew the money. This isn't money laundering and you have no evidence it is. You just suspect it is.
throwaway_tendies t1_iuagdmw wrote
How do I launder money non shittily?
Ask for a cartel friend…
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuah670 wrote
I bill at $300 an hour for my AML compliance work. $3000 retainer (evergreen).
throwaway_tendies t1_iuahf5b wrote
Alright lay it out for me, if it sounds good I’ll Venmo you
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahj9i wrote
No. I’ll take cash. Up front.
This ain’t my first rodeo.
throwaway_tendies t1_iuahlke wrote
I can’t pay cash it’s not laundered yet
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahs2k wrote
Tough titties. Not my problem.
throwaway_tendies t1_iuai07k wrote
Well fine, forget you then, I’ll just cashier’s check into TD Ameritrade
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuai9sl wrote
NoIncrease299 t1_iualbg3 wrote
This guy ☝🏻 ... is my kinda guy.
Jacarp05 t1_iuaj4ww wrote
So was it dirty money bc it was a cashier check? And he wired transfer out before it cleared?
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuanez1 wrote
Yup, basically anyhow
Phish100 t1_iuadpp6 wrote
If I was laundering money don’t u think I would’ve transferred all the money out after selling shares rather than only selling some and transferring out only a portion
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuaebjj wrote
No. Thats called “plausible deniability,” and covered in money laundering 101.
Aka “It could not possibly be money laundering because why wouldn’t I withdraw all the money.”
You’re raising every flag lol. It would have looked better if you did withdraw it all, like you just weren’t happy with TD.
You tried to save your account, keep it open, to do it again. You’re an idiot.
Phish100 t1_iuaf7jy wrote
I was keeping it open to use their platform, thinkorswim has the best charting out there which is why I chose them in the first place to switch to
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuafdkd wrote
You kept it open to launder more money.
Phish100 t1_iuagnqf wrote
Nope, got money from employment, then made a shit ton off Bed Bath and Beyond short squeeze in a Robinhood account, tried to move it to a TD Ameritrade account and then moved it back to Robinhood after finding out I couldn’t trade options on TD
AutoModerator t1_iuagnri wrote
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
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[deleted] OP t1_iuav3v4 wrote
[removed]
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuah0je wrote
Prove it. That’s your burden. That’s how AML compliance works.
Phish100 t1_iuahicc wrote
Prove it to who? TD has only sent me this along with other standard monthly statements about my account. They have not directed me anywhere nor has their customer support
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahqj5 wrote
It’s too late. You already burned the account.
Phish100 t1_iuaif37 wrote
So where does that money go?
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuaimyg wrote
It depends.
stuckindayz t1_iuaoqal wrote
This was a fun chain to read. OP dumb as hell
[deleted] OP t1_iub4g31 wrote
[deleted]
AutoModerator t1_iub4g3q wrote
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
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[deleted] OP t1_iuaf5wc wrote
He said you did it shittyily.. you might not be aware, or understand how it looks, but to computers you had a new account making money move around fast. It raises flags. You will get your 15k after it runs the default investigation process your transactions triggered.
Snowwpea3 t1_iuatpv0 wrote
That the whole point of money laundering. To get clean money back.
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