Submitted by [deleted] t3_ygt287 in wallstreetbets
[removed]
Comments
Such-Combination5046 t1_iuabjbe wrote
Why the fuck did you lie? You think you're the big wick?
Cultist6661 t1_iuabqel wrote
Yeah u do know brokers have to at least appear to be on the up n up?
What on earth did u lie abt tho? I’ve lied abt a lot of stuff and never had any problems? If it was a margin thing that prolly spooked em 😆
Phish100 t1_iuac1xb wrote
No I only lied abt income and net worth because I thought that could affect their decision
AuditControl_Inbox t1_iuachsd wrote
Prolly thought you were trying to launder money or something lol...
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuacwnr wrote
They were fraudulent
He used them to launder money, and he is now playing dumb.
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuacywi wrote
You laundered money.
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuaczgw wrote
Phish100 t1_iuad7li wrote
Money started and ended in the same bank account lmao. You don’t know what u talking abt
Phish100 t1_iuadf3u wrote
Ok look at account history if u really think that 🤣
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuadhob wrote
I do actually. You deposited “dirty” money and got back “clean” money. It’s fungible. You had no source before, which is why you had ACH problems. Now you do, TD/“investing.”
This is my line of work. You literally performed money laundering, albeit shittily.
AutoModerator t1_iuadhpu wrote
How about you funge on deez nuts. right clicks erotically
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Swiftnice t1_iuadka5 wrote
Yea your right. Just the idea that he actually used a cashiers check to deposit then wire transfer the money out so quick was a huge red flag. Also the fact that ameritrade doesn't just give everyone access to options right away is why they are better than robinhood.
Phish100 t1_iuadpp6 wrote
If I was laundering money don’t u think I would’ve transferred all the money out after selling shares rather than only selling some and transferring out only a portion
throwaway_tendies t1_iuae4q1 wrote
They don’t just close people’s account for no reason, something sketchy about what OP’s telling us.
What was their reasoning for closing your account?
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuaebjj wrote
No. Thats called “plausible deniability,” and covered in money laundering 101.
Aka “It could not possibly be money laundering because why wouldn’t I withdraw all the money.”
You’re raising every flag lol. It would have looked better if you did withdraw it all, like you just weren’t happy with TD.
You tried to save your account, keep it open, to do it again. You’re an idiot.
GammaGargoyle t1_iuaehgl wrote
When they run a credit check for a margin account, they see everything, income, work history, bank accounts, how many times you jerk off at night, if you’ve been flagged by banks for fraudulent activity. The only reason they ask those questions is so you can disclose anything that might not show up.
Cultist6661 t1_iuaf0xu wrote
Well, yeah it could. They may have a quick way to look at your taxes and if that doesn’t add up they may put the brakes.
We’re u trying to get the highest tier or something w like uncovered stuff? I had to jump thru a few hoops to get covered calls and options but I had my account w them for a few years at that point.
[deleted] OP t1_iuaf5wc wrote
He said you did it shittyily.. you might not be aware, or understand how it looks, but to computers you had a new account making money move around fast. It raises flags. You will get your 15k after it runs the default investigation process your transactions triggered.
Phish100 t1_iuaf7jy wrote
I was keeping it open to use their platform, thinkorswim has the best charting out there which is why I chose them in the first place to switch to
kodaksdad2020 t1_iuafbrt wrote
Nice job scribbling out the top then clearly leaving your name right under it lol
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuafdkd wrote
You kept it open to launder more money.
Phish100 t1_iuafrqg wrote
The highest tier on TD, which is level one on Robinhood, I was only given perms for tier 1 on TD which is just like covered calls
AIR_Wolf_222 t1_iuag2kd wrote
DerpySmirk t1_iuag3u4 wrote
a bad decision posting about fraud In a public sub
You belong here
throwaway_tendies t1_iuagdmw wrote
How do I launder money non shittily?
Ask for a cartel friend…
CartmanAndCartman t1_iuagizd wrote
For options trading yes you need to lie to get it approved. Yes I’ve traded options for 20 years and made thousands of dollars!
Phish100 t1_iuagnqf wrote
Nope, got money from employment, then made a shit ton off Bed Bath and Beyond short squeeze in a Robinhood account, tried to move it to a TD Ameritrade account and then moved it back to Robinhood after finding out I couldn’t trade options on TD
AutoModerator t1_iuagnri wrote
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
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pearlescentVidrio t1_iuah0je wrote
Prove it. That’s your burden. That’s how AML compliance works.
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuah670 wrote
I bill at $300 an hour for my AML compliance work. $3000 retainer (evergreen).
throwaway_tendies t1_iuahf5b wrote
Alright lay it out for me, if it sounds good I’ll Venmo you
sfbamboozled100 t1_iuahfkj wrote
You’ve made thousands of dollars in 20 years of options trading?
Phish100 t1_iuahicc wrote
Prove it to who? TD has only sent me this along with other standard monthly statements about my account. They have not directed me anywhere nor has their customer support
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahj9i wrote
No. I’ll take cash. Up front.
This ain’t my first rodeo.
throwaway_tendies t1_iuahlke wrote
I can’t pay cash it’s not laundered yet
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahqj5 wrote
It’s too late. You already burned the account.
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuahs2k wrote
Tough titties. Not my problem.
CartmanAndCartman t1_iuahuzb wrote
Yeah ok millions.
throwaway_tendies t1_iuai07k wrote
Well fine, forget you then, I’ll just cashier’s check into TD Ameritrade
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuai9sl wrote
Phish100 t1_iuaif37 wrote
So where does that money go?
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuaimyg wrote
It depends.
Jacarp05 t1_iuaj4ww wrote
So was it dirty money bc it was a cashier check? And he wired transfer out before it cleared?
NoIncrease299 t1_iualbg3 wrote
This guy ☝🏻 ... is my kinda guy.
computermademedoit t1_iualrfn wrote
OP is dumb but theres no part of this story that allows you to know for sure the money was dirty when it was deposited. All we know it was a cashiers check.
He committed fraud on the paper work, thats known. But we don't KNOW that he laundered dirty money. You just suspect it.
Settle down sherlock holmes
Darth_Laidher t1_iuamv92 wrote
Sue them if they are illegally holding your funds.
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuanez1 wrote
Yup, basically anyhow
pearlescentVidrio t1_iuannxp wrote
That’s now how AML compliance works.
The burden of proof is reversed. He has to prove it was/is clean.
Until then, it’s dirty. This isn’t a “beyond a reasonable doubt” criminal proceeding.
stuckindayz t1_iuaoqal wrote
This was a fun chain to read. OP dumb as hell
Tfear_Marathonus t1_iuaoy0e wrote
Bro, did you not understand lying on legal documents is fraud
Puzzled_Bath_984 t1_iuar9gx wrote
What? You don't need to lie, you just need to not be poor.
DarkSailor06 t1_iuarc18 wrote
That's fraud Tyler you dumb fuck
FukkenSaved t1_iuarqbl wrote
I'm going to go through this process soon. I'll just keep kicking around the money I can afford to lose until I eventually find somewhere that lets me.
TD Ameritrade actually enabled level 2 for me before. I just never used it, and apparently they automatically downgrade it if that's the case.
I can imagine though if the place is designed from the ground up for options, like Tastyworks, they would probably be a lot more likely to let you.
But you're better off not being able to trade on margin. Don't worry, there are still plenty of arbitrage opportunities out there, especially for thinly traded options.
noconoco42 t1_iuas77r wrote
But can they tell what i jerk off to?
GammaGargoyle t1_iuasni8 wrote
They know it’s cuckold porn
noconoco42 t1_iuasr30 wrote
Impressive.
Monetarymetalstacker t1_iuasrt2 wrote
😂 Exactly
AlphaGainzzz t1_iuatcpe wrote
At least he's making money
Snowwpea3 t1_iuatpv0 wrote
That the whole point of money laundering. To get clean money back.
JustSayingMuch t1_iuau5qd wrote
Don't follow cultists. Use what works for you.
jerrydiamond69 t1_iuau6fd wrote
Fuck td ameritrade and robinhood you silly squid!
[deleted] OP t1_iuav3v4 wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_iuav5d0 wrote
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computermademedoit t1_iuavtky wrote
Even if I granted you this, which is sort of silly since this is a subreddit post and not an AML compliance review, it sounds like everything was fine. Sounds like they are releasing his money after hours on the phone with customer service.
I once deposited 100 dollars into a sports book because I saw odds online and I wanted to make a bet. When I got to the sportsbook the odds had changed. I withdrew my 100 dollars and they put it on a hold for similiar issue - to prevent money laundering. I told them what happened, sent my ID, then eventually released my funds.
Did I launder money there? No, clearly not, though the burden of proof to the casino may have fallen on me I did not in fact launder money.
And very likely OP didn't launder money either. He deposited money, found out he couldn't trade options, withdrew the money. This isn't money laundering and you have no evidence it is. You just suspect it is.
FukkenSaved t1_iuayjyf wrote
So why not also stop people from investing in leveraged ETFs, cryptocurrencies, single stocks, other countries, or anything but short-term treasuries since they know better than us?
We're grown-ass adults and we don't need anyone telling us what we can or can't do with our own money.
[deleted] OP t1_iub4g31 wrote
[deleted]
AutoModerator t1_iub4g3q wrote
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
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thenewredditguy99 t1_iub5djc wrote
So….file a complaint against the broker for following AML policies? Sure. Like that case would be taken seriously at all. 😂
Same story with a lawyer. They would throw that case right out, because it has no merit.
OP tried to move a sum of money in excess of $10,000 in too short a time frame, and triggered TDA’s internal systems that assumed they were laundering money. OP even admitted to it. OP moved money in, found out they couldn’t trade options, and moved that same money out.
Look up the Bank Secrecy Act.
VisualMod t1_iuaa8qq wrote