Listen up you little creeps-

Long Google person here giving you one last opportunity to get on this train before it pulls out of the station, which is happening on Thursday when reporting earnings. The only information you really need is that big money (Dodge & Cox, Fidelity, etc.) have recently increased positions. But if you need more than that, there have been some revenue-generating changes the company has made which even the invertebrates among you will have noticed.

First, Youtube now makes you sit through two advertisements before watching a video. This was new in mid 2022, and there was some complaining right after it happened, but now we all blindly accept it, continuing to watch Call me Maybe on repeat. We have hundreds of millions of mouth breathers, simultaneously, staring into their computers right now watching endless loops of horrid music, self-help, "my year building a log cabin," "the REAL reason we dont see Bam Margera anymore," and other assorted drivel. Every single time they watch something to try to delay their lives they are getting 2 ads. Youtube revenue for the quarter will be higher YOY 10%.

You may have also noticed, for those of you using Chrome, that Google is assembling all of your passwords; to your fidelity account, your facebook and your grinder. This is going to be used to act as a new way to log in to your computer, meshing Chrome into your every action. Further, G Suite started charging a subscription fee starting in May 2022.

Regarding the DOJ investigating and bringing charges against Google for its domination of online advertising, that will not change what the earnings were, and since when does being investigated or even charged by the DOJ mean anything? Epstein was investigated and charged by DOJ before getting a high school hall pass from Alex Acosta, DOJ went after Augusta National, DOJ said the Sprint T-Mobile merger shouldn't happen because consumers would get hurt, but none of it amounted to diddly. They might have to pay a fine after Googles lawyers bog this down for a year or more, but rest assured it will be back to business as usual, soaking up our collective attention like a giant tampon.

The only bad news is. Nancy dropped her shares. I dont know for sure why she would give up her precious tendies, but she maybe had to come up with some cash quickly to buy her husband a new head.

The company shows earnings per share of $5, PE of 20, and is trading at a historically cheap price.

You're welcome.