They don't have a say, since it's a districtwide program. If you and your friend go to this website, https://ddot.myparkinginfo.com/cws/ they can register their address for street parking and then share with you a parking pass to print and put in your dash for the time being. Depending on the location, you can park wherever and for free.

The residential visitor parking pass is not through a building. It's through the ParkDC portal. However, I believe if his building is not zoned for residential parking he won't be eligible to print a pass. Also, there's plenty of garages in DC that have longer term parking (like the Union Station one) that you could use - won't be cheap, but it's possible. Many hotels as well will let you park in their garages.

In DC (not sure about Arlington) large apartment buildings and/or ones with dedicated garages are not eligible for street parking permits, which also makes them ineligible for visitor parking.