DC bro quotes

Submitted by guacamole_is_extra t3_yfdr8s in washingtondc

As a very last minute Halloween costume my husband is going to wear a blue checked button-down, a Patagonia vest, a superhero crest that says DC BRO and have quotes like the following stuck to him

  • nice to meet you. what do you do for a living?
  • I know this secret spot called founding farmers
  • You got a business card, bro?
  • The happy hour there is sick. You can get a Miller light for like $8.

What else should we add?

5

Comments

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ustreetlove t1_iu3dgj0 wrote

  • Yeah, lemme get two shots of fireball and a miller light

  • Is Rosslyn a safe neighborhood?

  • I live in Gaithursburg (deadpan)

  • Bro I can get you this job, just trust me

  • Come meet me at Dacha

  • I moved here for work about 2 years ago

  • I'm tryna hit up J Crew after lunch at District Taco

27

Baloncesto t1_iu5czqf wrote

"I moved here for work about 2 years ago" **so perfect**

3

NorseTikiBar t1_iu3ce99 wrote

Honestly? Aside from a few exceptions, this video from 10 years ago holds up.

13

DaBake t1_iu3wul3 wrote

"Navy Yard is the new Eckington" is hilarious in hindsight.

8

MartinScorsese t1_iu41h5m wrote

"Ian Mackey" gets me every time.

Fun fact: the star of the video hosted a show on VICE for a while, and IIRC now works as a producer for Jon Stewart's new Apple show.

7

Gaijin_Monster t1_iu7s10p wrote

This is every city, just replace the business and neighborhood names

3

IcyWillow1193 t1_iu41ab9 wrote

"I'm from DC" "What part?" "Clarendon."

"I'm flying out of Reagan"

"I vote Republican mainly for economic issues."

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beleafinyoself t1_iu45d7j wrote

Can he please wear boat shoes too? I think it would really complete the outfit

11

ASAPSocky t1_iu35jp0 wrote

"Let's go to this cool bar called Shenanigans"
"Yeah so I actually live in Arlington"
"I know the bouncer at Decade's, he'll for sure let us in"

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BettyDrapes t1_iu4m0ei wrote

"Let's get shots at Mission"

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guacamole_is_extra OP t1_iu5sffs wrote

After asking some friends and adding my favorites from here, here is my comprehensive list

  • Nice to meet you. So what do you do for a living?

  • I know this secret spot called founding farmers

  • You got a business card, bro?

  • The happy hour there is sick. You can get a Miller Light for only like $8.

  • Yeah, Iā€™m a native. Been here a whole year

  • Stands on the left

  • Whenever anyone visits I take them straight to Georgetown cupcake

  • Where do you live in DC? Clarendon

  • My girlfriend and I met on LinkedIn

  • Iā€™m getting an MBA as a hobby

  • Socially liberal fiscally conservative

  • Sprained ankle dodging a rat on a lime scooter

  • Blacks out at brunch

  • We need to hotwash the big ask so we can parameterize the heavy lift

  • Iā€™ll probably go into policy in a few years

  • Itā€™s not what you know itā€™s who you know

  • I totally could have gone to an ivy but I really wanted to pick a place with a good lacrosse program

  • I went to Harvard (for the weekend)

  • Dope blazer! Is that J. Crew?

  • My life is basically exactly like the West Wing

  • Sorry, thatā€™s actually confidential

  • Yeah, I do have a security clearanceā€¦.

  • What?

  • Oh sorry. I though you asked for my SAT score

  • How many AP classes did you take in high school?

4

cityeng t1_iu62qzq wrote

"Did you know Dave Grohl is from here?"

2

Oaktownbeeast t1_iu6ziln wrote

Hey my culture is not your Halloween costume!

2

KombuchaLady3 t1_iu5l6qu wrote

The outfit isn't complete without slim cut khakis and brown oxfords.

1

Cool_Story_Bra t1_iuatpvd wrote

ā€œDid you know Deloitte is more selective than Harvard?ā€

1

Less_Wrong_ t1_iu42q0x wrote

As ā€œbadā€ as they are, I will choose them any day over Austin or SF douche bros

0