Submitted by Puzzleheaded-Ad-1877 t3_zzh6vl in washingtondc

I want to take my girlfriend's dad out for a nice lunch and do the whole "ask for his blessing" thing before proposing. He's impressed by classically fancy, and some of the nice steakhouses would be perfect. Only problem is that I don't eat meat. I don't mind if he does; I just don't want to be eating a side of spinach while I'm paying for a nice meal. It also totally doesn't have to be steak, just that sort of white tablecloth atmosphere, with good vegetarian food, and open for lunch.

I work near Dupont Circle and he lives in suburbs to the east, so bonus points if it's near a metro stop and has parking.

TL;DR: Need a fancy steakhouse vibe with vegetarian options for lunch



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falling_stone t1_j2cfb0z wrote

Congrats on proposing to her dad!


sojournearth t1_j2cf28d wrote

A lot of people here are saying St.Anselm I have to disagree with them. St. Anselm is fantastic but it's definitely not "white tablecloth".


nickst t1_j2chqmm wrote

Agree with this. St Anslem is a take your gf/wife/partner on a birthday date meal and eat a giant steak. It’s not such a dad vibe place


joe_sausage t1_j2dpcry wrote

Agree. It’s hipster hunting lodge vibes in there.


sazzer82 t1_j2bplo0 wrote

Bourbon Steak at the Four Seasons in Georgetown is awesome


DCTiger5 t1_j2d9z3z wrote

I was sadly disappointed with bourbon steak.


sazzer82 t1_j2dbhq3 wrote

When did you go last? They got a new Executive Chef in the last 2 years


DCTiger5 t1_j2dq8sm wrote

A month ago. Also lol to someone downvoting the fact that I wasn’t totally pleased with my meal.

ETA: had the farm raised strip, potatoes, bone marrow starter, and Brussel sprouts. Honestly the free bread was one of the highlights.


tickler6789 t1_j2e93ne wrote

You are not permitted to dislike a restaurant that I like.


sazzer82 t1_j2enoxs wrote

I feel like you’ll get downvoted for anything here.

(I can sense the downvotes coming, prove me wrong, DC! lol)


samuel_hackson t1_j2c8fwd wrote

Consider Fiola. White tablecloth, check. Steak, check. Things to eat that aren't meat, check, check. Quiet.


demeteloaf t1_j2dhg23 wrote

I thought Fiola switched to just dinner when they got the michelin star.

Looking at their website, doesn't look like they're doing lunch.


GEV46 t1_j2do03s wrote

It was a bit after, but you are correct. I was just commiserating the other day at the loss of Fiola's lunch.


samuel_hackson t1_j2f7fua wrote

This is an abomination. Sorry OP for false hope. You will crush it.


maun_jax t1_j2cww4b wrote

As a side topic, do people really still do the whole “ask for his blessing” thing? Seems awkward and uncomfortable to me. As a dad of two girls, if either of their partners approached me like this, I’d feel awkward, like it’s not really my business. My daughters happiness and consent is all that’s necessary here and I’m certainly not a gatekeeper on that. I’d probably be thrilled to get to know their partner better on a personal level if I knew there was a long term commitment but the whole “asking for blessing” part seems unnecessary to me. And for me, probably an activity like hiking or going to a ball game or something of that nature would be preferred. Just my two cents - good luck and congrats on your proposal!


rotatingruhnama t1_j2ddseb wrote

My husband had a chat with my dad, which I knew about in advance and was fine with. Iirc it was just a quick thing while doing other stuff, not a formal lunch. If Dad had some sort of bizarre tantrum and said no, it's not like we would have called it off lol.

I never saw my dad as a "gatekeeper" and I'd been living on my own for about 15 years by that point.

It was just a nice gesture from my husband to my elderly dad. Less, "do I have your permission" (ick) and more, "I'd like your support in this marriage and to be welcomed into the family."

OP probably knows their girlfriend and this dad the best, and in this relationship and family it's considered a nice gesture.

If/when your daughters are ready for marriage I imagine they and their partners will talk about what traditions to keep and what to discard.


yoyogogo111 t1_j2cxbsj wrote

100% agreed. I know men who have done this, and I know women who have been ok with it, but if my husband had done anything like this, we would not be married. OP, please make sure this is something your gf is ok with before doing it.


rhnireland t1_j2d23xg wrote

Yep I agree. If my husband had felt the need to ask my father's permission before we got engaged I would have been really annoyed and may not have said yes.


BreadDurst14 t1_j2dit7c wrote

This was nice to read. It’s one of those traditions that I’ve always found icky, personally, but everyone I’ve ever mentioned that to has disagreed.


maun_jax t1_j2dkoc0 wrote

I’m surprised so many people disagree. It’s such a patriarchal tradition. There’s nothing equivalent or even similar involving the mothers or women.


TaylorCurls t1_j2dzsv8 wrote

This. I notice all the people defending it completely miss the point.

Why not have the Mom AND Dad then? Or whoever your partner is closest too? (Grandma/ aunt etc) Why only dad? It’s such an incredibly outdated and patriarchal thing.


Cool_Story_Bra t1_j2evunf wrote

I’ve heard of plenty of people asking the parents combined. And as someone else mentioned, asking for the blessing isn’t necessarily asking permission. It’s more like an FYI, and so they can lend support. And for most people it’s a formality for appeasing older parents who aren’t so progressive.


crop_top t1_j2e065y wrote

My fiancé didn’t “ask” my dad, more so just called both of my parents to tell them he plans to propose and wants their support. He knew they’d be supportive but the gesture was much appreciated and not some weird, dated thing..

ETA: appreciated by my parents, I didn’t need such a call to happen.


question_sunshine t1_j2fj807 wrote

My sister's boyfriend called my dad for his permission and my dad said "I don't know why don't you ask her?" Then he hung up, called my sister and ranted that the guy didn't respect her as an independent woman.

She did marry the guy. It lasted about six months before she realized my dad was right.

Every family and couple is different. It's best to know what the family and significant other will think of this in advance.


crop_top t1_j2fjhsw wrote

Yeah the permission thing is weird and I wouldn’t have wanted him to ask. I like it was more so “I’m going to do this and I hope we have your support” but I don’t think their response would have changed anything.


topher180 t1_j2ev0qu wrote

Great comment. It’s just common courtesy and a nice gesture. Not everything has to be cancelled for goodness sake.


C0333 t1_j2def4e wrote

I did this as my partner’s family was very conservative religiously and she was nearly 20 years younger than me. I didn’t really care whether he gave me permission and she didn’t either but the upside was now whenever she has some kind of family issue with them I just tell them how it’s going to be and as “the head of my household” they accept it no issues. It’s like all their control freak shit backfired on them.

I would suggest Joes Stone Crab or the Palm.


se_puede t1_j2e3ftm wrote

I can't wipe the cheshire cat smile off my face after reading that. Bravo.


blissfully_chilling t1_j2dnssy wrote

I think the nature of how this conversation is framed shows a lot about people’s views on the relationship between a man and a woman in society. I ironically just had this type of conversation with my long term girlfriends dad - I asked him for his blessings and support, but I was never about to ask him for his direct permission. That’s way too patriarchal for me (and GF was completely on the same page). We did it over a pretty casual breakfast (this seems too fancy for me but just my .02) and I was more looking for any advice that he had as I respect him a lot and obviously, he’s been in this situation before so it was a learning opportunity for me too. I think phrasing it as permission is creepy and weird. I also think that if I didn’t have his support it wouldn’t have changed things but him giving his support made me feel more valued and more welcomed into their family which was important as we live on opposite sides of the country and do not see each other often at all.


KT421 t1_j2dorqz wrote

My husband did and it pissed me off. It's so weird, like why would my dad's opinion matter? What would you do if he said no? Why even ask in the first place?


yoyogogo111 t1_j2frw10 wrote

My feeling has always been that if I’m going to get engaged, then the number of people who know that before I do should be either 0 or 1. People here are talking about it being a “respect” thing to ask for the dad’s blessing (but don’t worry, not permission, just support!), but to me it seems hugely disrespectful to the proposee. I get that everyone is different and some people don’t mind it, or even prefer it - I just want to stress the importance of making sure someone is on the same page as their SO before doing this, because it is by no means guaranteed that that’s what someone wants.


BellbergDC t1_j2deeh8 wrote

This generation a real lack of standard - Uncle Junior from the Sopranos.

In all seriousness, it’s a respect thing. Especially if the father and daughter have a healthy relationship.

The man is asking for blessing, not permission. Maybe it’s too traditional for some, but the male typically explains he plans for the future with the guys daughter and says it would mean a lot if he would be happy for the couple.


rotatingruhnama t1_j2djv32 wrote

My husband basically framed it as, "Your daughter and I are in a serious relationship, we've been discussing marriage for a few months now, I'm planning on proposing soon and would appreciate your support as we move forward with our life together."

My dad appreciated the gesture, but we certainly weren't treating his approval as a requirement.


No-Lunch4249 t1_j2dlp2h wrote

Strong emphasis on the relationship between them being an important aspect.

I had always planned to have that conversation but my now-wife and her father had a big argument and falling out where her father lost both her respect and mine. It would have been silly at that point for me to ask his blessing haha.


BellbergDC t1_j2docdm wrote

Agreed, it’s not a one size fits all approach. Depending on the dynamic having the partners family on board makes things a lot easier for the couple.


dynospectrum7 t1_j2drw5r wrote

South of the border. Down Mexico way….

Probably respect or cultural. But leave it to people to call other traditions icky or whatever.


DinosaurKevin t1_j2e6xd9 wrote

I never felt the need before proposing, and after doing it, my fiancé asked if I asked her dad for his blessing. She was very relieved I didn’t, because we’d been together awhile and that wasn’t a tradition where my now FIL grew up. Hoping that OP actually has confirmation this will be expected or appreciated by his GF’s dad, because you can avoid spending money on an unnecessary and potentially awkward lunch.


Norls82 t1_j2bqu72 wrote

Seconding St. Anselm. Blue Duck Tavern is great, and Le Dip seems like a safe bet. Maybe Quattro Osteria?

ETA: people are saying St. Anselm isn't the right vibe for this and I think they're right on second thought. Stand by the others though.


milo2049 t1_j2bs4ph wrote

Joes stone crab


nickst t1_j2chm0g wrote

This has been my go to “take the parents out for a fancy meal” place. Unsure of the veg options, menu is online. White tablecloths, good service, seafood & steaks. Father in law said it was the best steak he’s ever had (maybe buttering us up but I’m sure it wasn’t far off).


orangedrinkmcdonalds t1_j2bvf1f wrote

Blue Duck is perfect, imo.


Wiktor_r t1_j2e8ljg wrote

As someone who worked in Aspen, CO and served the millionaires... This is one of those places that feels on that level too. You can even bring your own wine for a "cork fee". This is the correct choice (I am not that familiar with other recommendation mentioned here above, but was looking for THIS)

Edit: Please, please, please... DO find a spot WITH white tablecloths. It is a must for the Moms (and Dads) :)


Cool_Story_Bra t1_j2ew5f0 wrote

If you find corkage to be a special feature I’m cautious of your recommendations on anything related to dining….


foreverurgirl t1_j2fwm46 wrote

This is the best choice. Hits all the requirements and it’s super intimate.


InevitableCloud t1_j2br765 wrote

Brasserie libertie.


I_have_a_chair t1_j2erfo3 wrote

The best kept secret in town is that this place is better than le Diplomate


InevitableCloud t1_j2eu5z4 wrote

Right? I dream about the fish in this place, and it’s definitely enough to share!


Thecoolkidsgetit t1_j2c84my wrote

The Duck and the Peach by eastern market has that vibe, a lot of vegetarian options too


[deleted] t1_j2bljis wrote



ryancroller t1_j2evu5a wrote

Came here to make recommendation.

Walkable from Union or Judiciary and there’s a parking garage around the corner.


Muriana_of t1_j2cpvpv wrote

Underrated option. Very classy, and upscale.


DinosaurKevin t1_j2e6d9k wrote

Quick question for you as someone who just got married- Do you know if your girlfriend’s dad actually wants to be asked, or expects it? Also, does your girlfriend want you or expect you to do this? The reason I ask is that some people find the practice outdated, or may not be familiar with this tradition. You may be able to save yourself the money & a potentially awkward lunch.


CanaKitty t1_j2f8v7i wrote

Yep. I personally find that whole custom outdated and kind of offensive. But you do you.


trev1997 t1_j2btysk wrote

Le Diplomate? Very fancy, has a good steak frites, good options for vegetarians. You'd impress him there.


DCGinkgo t1_j2c5qwq wrote

Le Dip is noisy. Choose your time carefully...


NomDePlume007 t1_j2bl8bc wrote

The Capital Grille is an outstanding steakhouse walking distance (9 minutes) from Tyson's Corner mall, and Metro - Silver Line.

Address: 1861 International Dr, Tysons Corner, VA 22102

If you prefer something more old school, in DC, then I'd suggest Old Ebbitt Grill, which has steak and seafood, and is almost right across from the White House.

Address: 675 15th St NW, Washington DC, DC 20005


alizadk t1_j2bq8k8 wrote

There's a Capital Grille in DC, too. Tysons would be way far out of the way for what OP is asking.


ChoPT t1_j2chi5u wrote

I second the Capital Grille recommendation. Upscale, lots of food options. And they have locations all over the place.


veloharris t1_j2bzy6b wrote

Personally I'd do Rasika, but get that indian may be a bit too adventurous. Bourbon steak is solid and probably fits your bill the most.


Actual_Kale_3078 t1_j2bq803 wrote

If you’re pescatarian, St Anselm has a few great fish options


Suburbs-suck t1_j2c2rcs wrote

Taco Bell cantina


Not_Cleaver t1_j2e7dg4 wrote

Yeah, it’s like the only Taco Bell in the District and it serves alcohol. What more should OP’s future father-in-law want?


1800TurdFerguson t1_j2cdyz5 wrote

Oceannaire Room is nice and has a broad range of options.


BlueBadger2020 t1_j2cu486 wrote

You can't go wrong with Joe's (not a steakhouse, the crab cakes are killer) or Blue Duck. St. Anselm is amazing, but might save that if you want to do an engagement dinner. Le Dip is usually packed, might not be great for a one-on-one convo with the dad.

Good luck man!


C0333 t1_j2dejp8 wrote

Second Blue Duck as great but more of a date place. Works only if you are going to bang the dad to assert dominance.


StarBabyDreamChild t1_j2dqq58 wrote

Does your girlfriend need suggestions of a restaurant to take your mom out to ask for her blessing?


CraftyAd7065 t1_j2fgype wrote

You're proposing to your girlfriend's father? BOld move. I hope he's good enough for you.


Rscaroll t1_j2ce0mp wrote

in the very slim chance that future father in law is 30 miles east & in the slimmer chance that you consider seafood as not meat (never made sense to me but ok) I'd say Chart House or Lewnes are pretty incredible spots.


dcsnarkington t1_j2cen8k wrote

The Prime Rib. Ask for a table by the piano. He should get the prime rib. Obv.

You can order the Lobster Santiago. It's a sensational take on a Lobster thermidor.

The Irish coffee is off menu, and great for dessert.

Nm you are a vegetarian, sorry just saw that. In that case I recco Marcels.


topher180 t1_j2evelg wrote

Dude asks for recommendations and half of you make it about you and your “beliefs”. Just relax.


Brendduh t1_j2e4bj8 wrote

Old Ebbitt Grill. Can not go wrong, tablecloth, location, history, service, menu, etc.,


GruntingSOUP-391_ t1_j2frg7e wrote

I second this, but don’t let them put you in the atrium - you’ll lose the ambiance if seated there.


foreverurgirl t1_j2bqtmz wrote

Ristorante i Ricchi is in DuPont and totally amazing old school Italian upmarket with amazing meats and pasta options for you


BoogerTom t1_j2ebx1a wrote

Downvoting for asking dad's permission!


intermodalterminal t1_j2djmz6 wrote

Take him to the Lafayette restaurant at the Hay Adam's hotel. Then take him to off the record in the basement for a wiskey to celebrateA


trm872503 t1_j2dk3oe wrote

Rare by the white house is still the best steak I’ve had in the city. Joe’s and Bourbon steak also great options, Joe’s specifically if you’re looking for seafood.


addyrabbit t1_j2dokww wrote

Red Hen is nice but has a great cozy vibe


y33Ttherich t1_j2dvu6y wrote

Cafe Riggs downtown. Historic building with high ceilings, white table cloths, lots of menu options. Place feels very grand.


user05051818 t1_j2dwbzg wrote

outback steakhouse. also has blooming onion vegetarian option


HappyTrainwreck t1_j2e9ety wrote

Are you vegetarian, pescatarian, or just don’t eat red meat? If pescatarian or no red meat I recommend Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse. If you’ve never been to Brazilian Churrasqueria, it’s pretty much a buffet style place for different cuts of meat (red meat and pork as well). They have an amazing salad bar, many side plates options, chicken options, seafood options, and dessert. For brunch it’s about $45 per person, lunch is around the same, and for dinner it depends but usually around $66 per person. Note that this doesn’t include drinks outside of water.


LBJass t1_j2c68bh wrote



TaylorCurls t1_j2dbzaf wrote

Why are you asking her dad for his blessing? I would be offended if my bf did that. Please make sure your gf is OK with that beforehand.


walliewasright42o t1_j2dt6sl wrote

> I would be offended if my bf did that.

good thing OP isn’t asking you


royal_mcboyle t1_j2dp93n wrote

I’d say Modena, the food is excellent, upscale service, they have steak (although is isn’t the main attraction), and has vegetarian options.


ParkingAntelope2 t1_j2dw5pd wrote

Chez Billy Sud in Georgetown. Absolutely classic French bistro, beautiful decor, great food, just all-around perfect for this kind of thing.


Inferno_Crazy t1_j2eadwl wrote

Charlie Palmer Steakhouse if it's still around.


Separate_Deer_2620 t1_j2ebld6 wrote

Le Diplomat on 14th & Q St., NW Or Rose's Luxury out in Eastern Market


mk-artsy t1_j2eu959 wrote

Maybe 1789 in Georgetown? Very much “white tablecloth” and really high end service.


FitLuck7267 t1_j2fdfzo wrote

Ron Swanson said it best, you are not a rabbit.

Anyways, jokes aside you’d be surprised at how many vegetarian options nice steakhouses can provide. Any one of them worth going to will have an option for a veggie plate or can work around dietary restrictions. (Restaurant industry for 12 years)


planejane15 t1_j2flt65 wrote

Medium rare has a vegetarian option. Maybe it isn't as upscale as some other options but it's a really tasty meal and it's bottomless


relativeisrelative t1_j2frj5s wrote

We had our work holiday party at the Palm, and it's not bad. There was plenty of vegetarian options, and it's very close to Dupont. Best food ever? No. Good food that otherwise hits what you are looking for? Yes.


campbeer t1_j2cf3kh wrote

Maybe not as upscale, but I'm a huge fan of The Royale or Lulu's wine garden


wolandjr t1_j2cjlev wrote

Dan's Cafe open for lunch?