they're both top-tier cities that will feel way different than Utah. move to DC first, its cheaper and more relaxed than NYC. if u feel understimulated after a year or 2, then move to NYC.

1. NY is better but DC isn’t awful. More opportunity to advance in NY
2. it’s more or less the same imo. Rent is worse in Ny, but food/services are cheaper than DC.
3. straight so I cannot say, but the 6 or 7 gay bars I’ve been to have been fun and each had a very different vibe from the others.
4. NYC, but DC has a lot too.
5. kind of. I feel like everyone in DC is on the grind. Friendship def took a backseat to my career here. Easier in NYC.

Whichever you choose, one benefit of living on the East Coast is the nearness of the cities. There are 4+ hours buses and 3+ hour trains between DC and NYC so it's totally easy to spend weekends in one if you're living in the other. And definitely don't overlook Philadelphia in between.

Read the moving guide. Basically of these questions can be answered by searching the sub, so do some research.

Hey! Fellow gay new-ish to DC here (moved fall 2021)

1. New York is gonna be more finance-centric
2. DC is just barely cheaper but they will both be wildly expensive compared to Utah. As an aside, I hope your salary estimate is based on Utah and you are just failing to account for a cost-of-living raise in a lateral move to NY/DC. 70-80K for a finance job in these cities is low. Like, first-job-out-of-college low.
3. There are a TON of dating opportunities in DC for 20s-30s gay men. We actually have the highest per-capita concentration of gay men in America. NY will have more gay people and gay bars in total but DC's gay scene is fantastic. In my opinion we're a bit more welcoming/chill than NY.
4. Similar to all of the above, NY will have a greater total simply because it's so much bigger. But DC has more than enough- it's impossible to do everything in either city.
5. I had a lot of success joining gay social/sport leagues. DC is still almost entirely remote work so things like office friends don't really exist anymore. In either city I'd suggest picking a few hobbies/activities/sports and joining groups associated with that thing.

I’ve lived in both. NYC wins on the transit, food (both quality of food but also lower prices), and opportunities (both career and personal life).

I’m in a relationship so I can’t speak to dating but I will say my single friends in NYC (especially the queer folks) complain WAY less about dating than my single friends in DC and are just generally happier.

Housing-wise I think DC wins. For under 2000 I have a beautiful, large, bright pre-war 1bed in a great neighborhood next to the metro. It’s the best. In NYC I would easily pay over 3000 for this which would definitely be above my means.

Searching for housing in NYC is way more stressful, you get catfished by brokers a lot, and it’s much more competitive. Both housing markets you will have to worry about crime, pests, rodents, and slumlords. But in DC it’s easier to weed the bad apartments out. If you’re living by yourself, DC is going to be way better in this regard.

It really depends on where you find your happiness. Do you need a large, bright, sanctuary to come home to every day? Do you spend a lot of time at home/like to host people? DC might be better. Or are you planning on being out and about, making a ton of friends, going on dates, going clubbing, and want amazing transit? NYC might be the move.

Edit: I also think both have a lot in terms of walkability and getting to explore new neighborhoods. You will exhaust this more quickly in DC, but still, I walk everywhere here and I love it. Also, DC has free museums. Best way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

I'm a native Washingtonian but have also spent a lot of time in NYC (and have family there). Here's my perspective having spent most of my life going back and forth between the two:

- DC has better cost of living and more affordable living arrangements IMO. You can live in NoVa or MoCo and still be pretty close to the city, but have a bit of a larger place within a neighborhood if you want that vibe. Within the city it is also cheaper than NYC. On your salary, if having your own place and/or something decent is important to you, I'd say DC.

- NYC is more walkable and better if you're relying on public transport. In the DC area, you generally still need a car. It's much harder here to rely solely on public transportation and walking. Even if you live in DC proper, you often still need a car for most errands. A lot of good stuff is in the 'burbs.

- Both have active LGBTQ communities. NYC is larger and more well known but DC definitely holds its own in this area as well!

- DC has a bit more of a southern, small town feel IMO. It's really easy to get out of DC or the immediate suburbs and be at the beach or the mountains. That's what I love about this area; it's a little bit of everything and all of it is very accessible.

- DC is a short bus or train ride to NYC! So if you want to visit NYC regularly, you can do that with ease.

- Weather in DC is better IMO. Beautiful falls, winters are a bit less harsh. Both have sweltering summers with a lot of humidity.

- Food in NYC is amazing. It's what every New Yorker complains about when they move down here (including my mom, who has been complaining about it for 50 years now). BUT the DC area has some good food too, it's just tends to be more in the 'burbs.

- DC is cleaner and more visually/aesthetically appealing IMO. More sky, natural areas, greenery. NYC to me can start to feel very dirty and claustrophobic after a few days. Unless you're constantly in or near Central Park, I find that it quickly gets depressing. I need green space! YMMV.

- Recreationally, I feel like there's more to do in and around the DC area. Hiking, boating, etc. All easier to get to from anywhere in the DC area in my experience.

- NYC is very heavy on the financial sector (as well as advertising and a few other industries like that). DC is heavier on politics (obviously), lobbying, and jobs in those sectors. However, my SO works in tech and has never had trouble finding work here.

Move to Philadelphia or Baltimore and get the same experience for half the price.

1. NYC, they literally have the Financial District. You’ll have more opportunity to advance your career but also more competition at the same time.

2. I didn’t live in DC proper but I was looking to move there instead of NYC. I couldn’t justify living in DC for the rents that aren’t too far behind NYC. I lived in one of the most expensive DC metro areas and rent in DC was even more.. but less than NYC. *However, it’s hard to live cheaply in DC/ metro because lack of choices. In NYC you can live as cheap or as luxurious as you choose. You could live on dollar slice pizza and roadside produce stands, and grocery shopping in China town, etc. You can live cheap in NYC but it’s not easy, DC felt very difficult to do that. You also won’t have much transportation cost in NYC bc you likely won’t have a car but in DC that’s not as prevalent. The NYC metro/subway is so much more expansive than DC, just not even close to being as clean.

3. I’m not gay, nor am I in the dating scene.. but I have friends that are and the dating scene in NYC is a little crazy. You could have hundreds of dates a year, or none. You can easily meet people in bars/clubs. And the gay population is very diverse in NYC.

4. NYC is very much a walkable city, but that is my experience in Manhattan anyway. DC wasn’t nearly as walkable and felt a lot more unsafe. NYC gives you safety in numbers nearly everywhere you go. Ignore a lot of the subway crime because it’s likely not in the areas you’ll be and it’s very low based on the ridership. Just stay aware and you’ll likely be fine. Plenty to do in NYC, DC has pockets of areas and it seems like not much in between. (Other Burroughs of NYC feel like that too though).

5. Either city is probably the same, I’m in a relationship so it’s different for me than your situation so my view would be different than yours.

Lived in both NYC and DC, and straight up I would say for you … NYC. 80k is not going to get you very far, so be prepared to either have a roommate (or two), or live further out. But even living further out in Brooklyn or Queens, it would still give you a lot of “fun stuff” and gay community. NYC might not be a place you would stay forever, and you might even move down to DC in a few years, but you really should give it a try.

NYC is if you want the hustle/struggle vibe. 80k won’t get you far especially if you want to live in the city and have a life out.

DC is a good midpoint of the big city and suburbia and much smaller in size and a bit cheaper.

Do you have hobbies? Probably the easiest way to make friends is through that. Or circuit party cliques if you’re into that.

DC gay population skews predominantly white. Dating will suck if you’re not lol. NYC population is extremely dense, IE the last tile on your grindr grid will be <500ft away lol.