I’ve lived in both. NYC wins on the transit, food (both quality of food but also lower prices), and opportunities (both career and personal life).

I’m in a relationship so I can’t speak to dating but I will say my single friends in NYC (especially the queer folks) complain WAY less about dating than my single friends in DC and are just generally happier.

Housing-wise I think DC wins. For under 2000 I have a beautiful, large, bright pre-war 1bed in a great neighborhood next to the metro. It’s the best. In NYC I would easily pay over 3000 for this which would definitely be above my means.

Searching for housing in NYC is way more stressful, you get catfished by brokers a lot, and it’s much more competitive. Both housing markets you will have to worry about crime, pests, rodents, and slumlords. But in DC it’s easier to weed the bad apartments out. If you’re living by yourself, DC is going to be way better in this regard.

It really depends on where you find your happiness. Do you need a large, bright, sanctuary to come home to every day? Do you spend a lot of time at home/like to host people? DC might be better. Or are you planning on being out and about, making a ton of friends, going on dates, going clubbing, and want amazing transit? NYC might be the move.

Edit: I also think both have a lot in terms of walkability and getting to explore new neighborhoods. You will exhaust this more quickly in DC, but still, I walk everywhere here and I love it. Also, DC has free museums. Best way to spend a Sunday afternoon!