I'm a native Washingtonian but have also spent a lot of time in NYC (and have family there). Here's my perspective having spent most of my life going back and forth between the two:

- DC has better cost of living and more affordable living arrangements IMO. You can live in NoVa or MoCo and still be pretty close to the city, but have a bit of a larger place within a neighborhood if you want that vibe. Within the city it is also cheaper than NYC. On your salary, if having your own place and/or something decent is important to you, I'd say DC.

- NYC is more walkable and better if you're relying on public transport. In the DC area, you generally still need a car. It's much harder here to rely solely on public transportation and walking. Even if you live in DC proper, you often still need a car for most errands. A lot of good stuff is in the 'burbs.

- Both have active LGBTQ communities. NYC is larger and more well known but DC definitely holds its own in this area as well!

- DC has a bit more of a southern, small town feel IMO. It's really easy to get out of DC or the immediate suburbs and be at the beach or the mountains. That's what I love about this area; it's a little bit of everything and all of it is very accessible.

- DC is a short bus or train ride to NYC! So if you want to visit NYC regularly, you can do that with ease.

- Weather in DC is better IMO. Beautiful falls, winters are a bit less harsh. Both have sweltering summers with a lot of humidity.

- Food in NYC is amazing. It's what every New Yorker complains about when they move down here (including my mom, who has been complaining about it for 50 years now). BUT the DC area has some good food too, it's just tends to be more in the 'burbs.

- DC is cleaner and more visually/aesthetically appealing IMO. More sky, natural areas, greenery. NYC to me can start to feel very dirty and claustrophobic after a few days. Unless you're constantly in or near Central Park, I find that it quickly gets depressing. I need green space! YMMV.

- Recreationally, I feel like there's more to do in and around the DC area. Hiking, boating, etc. All easier to get to from anywhere in the DC area in my experience.

- NYC is very heavy on the financial sector (as well as advertising and a few other industries like that). DC is heavier on politics (obviously), lobbying, and jobs in those sectors. However, my SO works in tech and has never had trouble finding work here.