Residentially Unstable

Submitted by idkyikeepmakingnew1s t3_105oq4v in washingtondc

Greetings y’all, I’m not from the “DMV”, but I’ve been here for a while now. I’ve recently became unhoused and wanted to ask for y’all’s opinion/advice on my next course of action. I’ve been to almost every shelter in the city. 801 E Men’s Shelter, Blair’s House, Adams Place, Pat Handy, CCNV, Central Union Mission. I can’t get it together. I really can’t. I’ve lost two amazing jobs during my homelessness. I either turn to drugs or just give up. I guess I should start with how I became unhoused. I came here to be with someone, which eventually resulted in my current situation. I think, and I say I think because I don’t have physical proof, that I was being gaslight, manipulated, abused, and although I can’t prove it, I whole heartedly believe that this person conspired to have me murdered. My mental health is terrible, I think I tried to commit suicide. I wasn’t trying to kill myself, just get admitted to a hospital so I can have a bed, but when the emergency response showed up(18 police officers, one ambulance) I almost did it. I can’t really function properly these days. I know I need help like counseling and therapy and rehabilitation and whatnot, but I just can’t bro. I have to get my insurance switched over, so I can get help within DC, but everything is overwhelming and it honestly feels like I can’t get help sometimes. I feel burnt out, and physically feel like I can’t do it. I know this may seem like a cry for help, but I guess I’m asking if y’all know of any resources that I may have overlooked. I’ve reached out to Catholic Charities, I guess they run all the shelters. I’ve tried. I’ve failed. Im asking for help. Sorry for rambling. Thank you.

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uncheckablefilms t1_j3byigs wrote

I hope this is helpful but I believe the MLK library downtown has a number of services geared towards the unhoused including pro-bono legal help on certain days. Speak with the librarian at the information desk and she can better guide you on the support services they have. They have a number of public computer terminals you can use too to setup various services if needed. Worse case scenario it’s a good place to get out of the cold on a terrible day and they have coffee for less than a dollar in their cafe. Good luck!

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3cj86i wrote

Thank you for your help, and I actually saw a bunch of people out front the library yesterday for the public hosing thing. Thank you!

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lonliestnumber t1_j3cy1xe wrote

Make sure you get in touch with one of the peer navigators as well, OP. They can help you get your documents in order and help you find employment and housing.

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Cerie44 t1_j3c3b6v wrote

You said you moved here to be with someone. Do you have any family that don’t live here that can help you? Maybe you can go back home to be with your family. No reason to stay in DC if you’re no longer with this person.

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C0333 t1_j3cazue wrote

This. Go home if you can

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3cij16 wrote

I’ve tried. I don’t think my family is my family anymore. I still love them but life, ya know.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ciord wrote

I tried. My Grandma is the only one who talks to me anymore, and she isn’t in the position to help me. I’ll be aight tho. Thank you for the help!😁

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MarkinDC24 t1_j3c5s8p wrote

The first thing you need to do is seek stability either physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physical Safety

In terms of your physical stability, you need to hold yourself accountable and stay at one shelter. Allow the shelter staff to get to know you, point you in the direction of resources, and get used to creating a schedule for yourself. Most people need schedules to stay mentally stable. There is a reason for most of our lives we either are in school, commuting to either work or school, or working. You need to seek stable shelter and hold yourself accountable to staying in one safe place.

Mentally

I strongly suspect you have some trauma. You mentioned being abused in a variety of ways. I implore you, beg of you, please seek mental health help from a certified health care specialist (e.g., therapist). As people, we do not understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected. Due to trauma your thoughts could be altered and you need a professional to help you navigate your thoughts. You mentioned suicidal ideation, at this point, you have to choose yourself; if you do not seek help, you may take your own life (just trying to be very clear, it is imperative you seek out a mental health professional).

Spiritually

When you do find stable shelter and take care of your mental health, you also need to recharge your spirit. Anxiety, stress, fear all impact chemicals in the brain. Those chemicals make our bodies tense up, some people can grind their teeth or others heart start to race when their really anxious. The impacts of that stress can negatively impact our spirits. You need a societally acceptable outlet.

Americans do not understand holistic healthcare. Your mental health is connect to your spiritual health. If you jog to release stress, learn how to express gratitude for being able to walk while you jog. Your spirit will feel better for being appreciative of “the little things.” You do not need religion, as most religions will teach you how to keep your spirit positive, you can keep your spirit up yourself. If you do not have religious beliefs, understand you must understand you will have to hold yourself accountable (there is no church, mosque, etc. to do it for you!).

P.S. - one person in the thread starting asking you critical questions. If I recall, he asked about your insurance issue that you have been putting off. It is likely, most people would have done something like change their insurance quickly after moving. I suspect part of the reason you haven’t is because either you are depressed due to your current situation. So again, I implore you seek stable shelter, mend your mind, and build your spirit. You got this!

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3cj0f7 wrote

Thank you and yeah, I never had insurance before actually. As a matter of fact, this whole ordeal as been opening my eyes to the fact that I have been suppressing past trauma. I HAVE been shirking my responsibilities because of whatever excuse I can come up with. My mental health was never great, and this has been the culmination of that.and the spiritual thing is a understatement bro, like this had been a real eye opener for me.

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MarkinDC24 t1_j3ck06m wrote

You will be fine. Just find a schedule and take things one step at a time. I hope you have or find a network to support you. If you ever need faith in “good people”, re-read some of these comments. There are a lot of good natured people out there.

I hope you take advance of the shelters in our area. And, I can not say it enough, you are more likely to thrive not just survive when you deal with your trauma. Choose you and find a mental health therapist ASAP. Things will start to become a lot less foggy, hard to plan, and stable if you utilize mental health resources.

Best of luck!

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No-Yoghurt9348 t1_j3juo9a wrote

As a person who has gone through this and many other horrors, can I say that it is infuriating to hear, "You will be fine." No, many people do not end up "fine" and it is dismissive of very real and tangible problems with SURVIVAL. Me and my kids were in this situation for ten years and we were never "fine" and considering all the intense trauma, we will never be "fine". Maybe we'll get through it eventually, but I don't consider 3 cases of life long PTSD to be "fine".

Encouragement and kindness is one thing, but please be mindful of language that is dismissive of reality, It's gaslighting.

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MarkinDC24 t1_j3jwfn1 wrote

While I respect your opinion, I do not agree with your claim that I am “gaslighting” anyone.

I can respect that based off your experience you are of the opinion that I was dismissing some of the issues the OP was/is having. What you might not have learned yet, assumptions often lead us to miscommunication. Asking intent is a tool to learn, specifically learn people’s intention. With that said: Gaslighting involves intent, if you ask me. My intent was to reassure the OP, not dismiss or belittle what he has/will experience, so accusing me of gaslighting seems hostile - at best.

I am sorry you suffer from PTSD. I hope you have found the tools or resources to manage your PTSD. And, I sincerely hope you and your children are doing well.

I will continue to learn, reflect, and offer advice.

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No-Yoghurt9348 t1_j4jc70j wrote

I'm sorry, when I said gaslighting, I should have said, "it can be triggering and feel like gaslighting to those who historically have not been heard." Most gaslighting is not done with conscious intent, it's more like confirmation bias. Traumatized people's amygdalas are hyper-reactive and extra-sensitive, so when they hear, "It's going to be fine,", it often can arrive in their brains as, "You have not tried hard enough. You did everything wrong. Stop complaining, shut up and leave me alone." Sadly.

The good news is that if they manage to pull themselves out, they will slowly build up the "I can do this, I will be ok" muscle....Personally I was able to build it up once I got trauma-specialized therapist who acknowledged deeply that I got dealt a really bad hand and life really did suck bad. So now I know and try to share when I can. :-) Thanks for listening.

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MarkinDC24 t1_j4kw1ct wrote

Thank you so much for sharing! I read your post in its entirety and get what you are saying. I know communication is not just what is said but also how it is received. Often, I do not know or think about how what I say is received. With that in mind, I appreciate you sharing how my comment could/is [be] triggering.

As I am going to volunteer with communities experiencing homelessness this year, I will ensure to remember your comments to be supportive - and not trigger anyone. Do no harm and support is my intent.

Thank you for supporting me in learning!

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No-Yoghurt9348 t1_j5alfv8 wrote

Aww, that is so sweet. We all misspeak sometimes, it is part of being human and I believe society has been much too aggressive in "cancelling" humans who do. I choose to believe that most humans are good and that having the courage to share thoughts with others will get us to a much better place faster than shaming.

Also! This is only my opinion, others may feel the opposite about those words. <3

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amboomernotkaren t1_j3d06hi wrote

This little test is a real eye opener on childhood trauma. I suggest you take it so you have an idea that what you went thru will affect you. All the other advice in here is really great.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

There might be help here: https://numberstory.org/help-right-now/

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purplehayes1986 t1_j3c81qe wrote

I would reach out to SOME. They have food, housing, medical and mental health, and job resources. They are located at 71 O St NW or at 202.797.8806.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ciebq wrote

I’ve been to some, I still go occasionally. Thank you for your help😁 and God Bless

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ck855 wrote

Thank you to everyone and God Bless y’all. The biggest thing I’ve learned, from y’all’s interaction with this post, and from others I’ve spoken with today is I have not been holding myself accountable. I keep using my frustration and pain as a excuse to give up. I’ll be ok, and thank y’all again! -but Do keep the help coming. who knows, this may help others in the same position! And please forgive my horrible grammar/spelling, abuse of the typed English language 😅

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t3rps t1_j3cjdvj wrote

Check out Miriam’s Kitchen. They have social workers who can help with your ID and some of the other things you discussed.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3cketw wrote

I LOVE Miriam’s Kitchen, OMG the food is amazing and in my opinion only rivaled by Central Union Mission and McKennas Wagon😁

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t3rps t1_j3cl9jn wrote

That’s so nice to hear! I remember volunteering there when I was a student and thinking to myself how much better the food was compared to what I was eating at the time lol. Maybe go for a meal and ask to set up an appointment with a social worker.

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Araedheltari t1_j3bzofu wrote

The website DC Health Matters is also a large database of nonprofits that can help with everything from jobs to housing to rehab and medical bills

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EitherProblem931 t1_j3bw46f wrote

What's the 1 thing that you've been putting off doing that would help you the most?

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3bwhap wrote

Switching my Medicaid from MD to DC. They said it’s like a 2/3 month wait, which just made me give up. That’s after I finally worked up the nerve to go to the place and try to do it.

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EitherProblem931 t1_j3bwqs1 wrote

Why do you need to switch from MD to DC?

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3bx39y wrote

They keep telling me I can’t use the service here in DC without insurance/paying I guess. And I cant afford it, so I would be best to use Medicaid, but I can’t use my MD Medicaid here in DC. Idk , it’s what I’ve been told over and over and over.

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Glittering-Ad4094 t1_j3cfsqc wrote

you should be able to sign up for Medicaid through DC health link https://dchealthlink.com/ (that’s how I did it). If you need help with signing up, there are people who can help you enroll at several community organizations including Whitman-Walker Clinic, Mary’s Center, and Community of Hope. I believe once you are enrolled in DC, Maryland will cancel your enrollment in MD. Hope this helps some!

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3bx4sj wrote

I use to stay literally outside of the city line in MD

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EitherProblem931 t1_j3bxgoh wrote

Why don't you get help in Maryland?

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SeeToTheThird t1_j3c3r6n wrote

Bro fuck off the guy is asking for help not the Socratic method.

OP, try to see if any of the various legal services groups in the city can take you on. Neighborhood Legal Services, Bread for the City, Legal Aid are some. They can often point you in the right direction even if they can’t help you directly. And if you are worried about your mental health, see what meds you can get prescribed on Medicaid and stay diligent in taking them. Mental health can be a huge obstacle when trying to stabilize a housing crisis. Good luck.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ci68f wrote

Thank you bro, and it’s cool, I appreciate the spirit, but the cuss words ain’t necessary😅

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EitherProblem931 t1_j3clzlq wrote

If you need day labor, paid the next day or in a week, type work, click the link in my bio. Lie on the application if you have to. They'll hire you and it's only work for a day at a time so, you can navigate it much easier. There's a how to financial literacy link there as well. Find yourself an abandoned house and have your debit card mailed there if you don't have a debit card and an address to mail it to. Start building your credit ASAP. Good luck.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ci1cr wrote

I honestly don’t know. When I first became homeless I just started sleeping at bus stops. I tried going to whatever shelters I could find nearby. The one in Maryland, closest to me said you had to be referred. So I eventually ended up in DC. And eventually got a DC ID card(couldn’t switch my License over).etc etc

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AnonyJustAName t1_j3cakga wrote

If you came from somewhere so close, is there anyone you could stay with back in MD? Can you travel to former providers in MD since it is nearby, to get stabilized?

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3ciai7 wrote

When it first happened I just wanders to wherever google took me. My mind wasn’t in the best shape

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AnonyJustAName t1_j3cryih wrote

Since you can see providers nearby in MD with insurance coverage, maybe look into going back there to get stabilized. It could be where you are from or a close in transit accessible area like Silver Spring.

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RG_Viza t1_j3cvdsr wrote

timeorganization.org It’s not the ritz Carlton but they provide shelter and drug treatment in one package and it’s grant funded. They’ll come get you.

You have to be committed and there may or may not be people using but mostly not. Just keep your side of the street clean.

If you relapse and get caught be honest come clean and don’t act like an asshole and they won’t throw you out.

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3dvday wrote

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone again! Y’all have provided a plethora of resources I can utilize. I will make sure to do just that, and pass this valuable information along to others in need, thank you to everyone! Stay safe and God Bless!😁

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[deleted] t1_j3fpi2k wrote

[deleted]

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idkyikeepmakingnew1s OP t1_j3gmr3t wrote

Thank you!! I’ve been to 35kst. Honestly I think I’ve been to everywhere 😅 I did a intake(SPDAT?), just haven’t heard back. I admit I have not been consistent with my efforts.

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No-Yoghurt9348 t1_j3ju3kq wrote

Do you have a health provider? I suggest going to Mary's Center and getting into see a general practitioner, get on the waitlist for a therapist, psychiatrist and social worker. Do the DBT group therapy (possible on a mobile phone or from library). They take Medicaid and will help you sign up for it.

It really just takes one visit to 1207 Taylor Street to get Medicaid, could not be easier. Nice and warm in there for the long wait, get there early to make sure you are seen the same day. Do you get TANF and EBT? Same place, all services with one application!

You are not alone. We understand. Focus on 1207 Taylor Street to get Medicaid, EBT, TANF. Just do that one thing. Then go to Mary's Center for a GP appointment, get into their system. Things will start to get a little better, bit by bit, but you need these allies.

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