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just_some_arsehole t1_jaccl1u wrote

Flamethrowers are good for putting out house fires, says man with flamethrower for sale standing next to burning building.

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Cycode t1_jacdbof wrote

"More Money from Addicted People who buy my drugs is good, says Drug-smuggler."

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JoeyGIllustration t1_jacd9c0 wrote

Good for the climate fight, not for the actual climate. It'll drag the fight out a few more decades, and give them enough time to transition their investments. So, they want you to invest your money into a dying industry, so theirs can leave.

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Postcocious t1_jacohoj wrote

>BP Plc Chief Executive Officer Bernard Looney...

Surname checks out.

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DDRisntreal t1_jacdfbs wrote

I bet posting his address publicly would make him feel safer then.

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dtfyoursister t1_jadzbx8 wrote

More oil and gas investment is good for the corporate profits, says BP CEO.. there fixed it

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bloomberg OP t1_jacci5x wrote

Click here to read this story for free.

By Will Mathis

>As the sound of climate protesters reverberated through the conference room, BP Chief Executive Officer Bernard Looney made the case that investment in more oil and gas is crucial for the transition away from those very fuels.
>
>"Reducing supply without also reducing demand inevitably leads to price spikes, price spikes lead to economic volatility, and there’s a risk that volatility will undermine popular support for the transition," he said at London’s International Energy Week.
>
>"We avoid that outcome by investing in today’s energy system, as well as investing in the transition."

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2-Legit-2-Quip t1_jad9hv7 wrote

Says the industry that spends millions on bs blaming cows instead of sealing hundreds of thousands of untapped wells spewing methane

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autotldr t1_jacdrf0 wrote

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 66%. (I'm a bot)


> As the sound of climate protesters reverberated through the conference room, BP Plc Chief Executive Officer Bernard Looney made the case that investment in more oil and gas is crucial for the transition away from those very fuels.

> The executive's pitch at the event - one of the city's biggest fossil fuel conferences - follows the company's recent announcement that it would cut oil and gas production more slowly than expected this decade.

> For the first time last year, investment in clean energy matched funding for fossil fuels, according to BloombergNEF. Still, the world is far behind a trajectory of emissions cuts that would enable it to reach the goals set out in the 2015 Paris climate agreement and prevent the worst impacts of global warming.


Extended Summary | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: climate^#1 fuel^#2 conference^#3 Energy^#4 fossil^#5

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JanJaapen t1_jaccks0 wrote

BP’s CEO: ‘I swear guys, if you invest more money into my company all the climate problems will go away by themselves!’

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Happypappy007 t1_jacfdnc wrote

Up is down, down is up. These are not the droids you are looking for.

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wall-E75 t1_jacgqnd wrote

I'm sure he does. Blahahaha

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gaukonigshofen t1_jacmhru wrote

guy sounds like the one greedy character from the Lorax

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throwaway_nrTWOOO t1_jadc6y7 wrote

Man, the apocalypse, if anything, is just dumber, and lazily written than I would've imagined.
I mean, if that line was pitched to an oil CEO in a satire, like The Simpsons, you would've gotten kicked out of the writers' room.

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DDRisntreal t1_jacdgj5 wrote

I bet posting his address publicly would make him feel safer then.

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Deathcounter0 t1_jaciwsw wrote

"Drinking more Alcohol is good for your health, says bartender"

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Kesshh t1_jact7r7 wrote

I bet he looks in the mirror and actually believes everything he says.

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deltahalo241 t1_jaenral wrote

Nah, I bet he spent hours reciting it in front of the mirror, so that he wouldn't burst out laughing when it came to saying it for real

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Seeksp t1_jacdn7y wrote

BP Bigger Profits

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98642 t1_jadtb85 wrote

We have to kill the planet to save the planet.

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Bobdebouwer813 t1_jaeonae wrote

Having sex burns a lot of calories. By raping people you help them stay in shape.

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7788audrey t1_jacfut7 wrote

Wow, even the far-right sites are reporting that the BP guy is actually saying that profits are down and clean energy investments are down. This from the Daily Caller:

CEO Bernard Looney of British oil giant BP has expressed plans to scale down the firm’s green energy investments as some have struggled to meet expectations, The Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday, citing anonymous sources familiar with the matter.

Looney intends to deemphasize ESG objectives and reassure investors that the company is focused on using its competitive advantages — including in oil and gas — to maximize returns, the WSJ reported. Though he has expressed disappointment in the performance of some green investments, Looney has characterized the move as a short-term readjustment and a BP spokesman referred the WSJ to previous statements the company has made stressing its commitment to reducing carbon emissions.

BP, alongside fellow British oil giant Shell, has struggled to keep up with U.S. competitors, with shares in the U.S.-based Exxon Mobil nearly doubling since January 2020 while BP’s have climbed just 7%,

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