They said roughly 'in sorry I hurt you". That's not an apology, that's an appeasement. They didn't take ownership of it, instead deflecting it to "i have no filter".

As stated in my previous post, there are steps to making an apology. You own up to your mistake, which op didn't. They shrugged their shoulders, said, 'that's how I am" and "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt".

They did something that caused injury to a friend. You own up to it and apologize. You have no idea why she's acting like that. For all we know, her mother may have been unfaithful to her partner. Or maybe mom is sick. Or there's abuse. None of which she's required to tell anybody. So, if you say something that causes pain, apologize for it.

Also, that's not groveling. That's simply giving a full and complete apology.

You apologized for causing her harm instead of apologizing for being a complete ass? Saying you need a filter sounds like you're trying to give an excuse and push some of the blame by subcontext (i.e. "you know I have no filter some days. I didn't intend to hurt you with my words which were clearly said in poor taste, but you know I'm like that, so I don't know what you're expecting.")

A proper apology comes in several steps:

• Acknowledge what you said was wrong.

• Take full responsibility for your actions.

• Explain that you understand that what you said was absolutely hurtful and was completely out of line.

So a proper apology would look like this: Hello (name). I wanted to sincerely apologize for calling your mother names like that the other day. It was completely out of line for me to make those comments and I understand now how hurtful my words were. I know sometimes I can be completely thoughtless when I talk and I am trying to be better about that. I can only hope that you can forgive my thoughtless actions and we can continue to be friends.

I get the feeling that this is part of a long pattern of behavior on your part, OP, and this is far from the first hurtful thing you've said to someone. If you ever intend on keeping friends long term, you need to figure out how to make some serious changes in the thoughtless and hurtful things you say to, and about, others.

Did you just vsay "I'm sorry"? Or did you write an actual apology that was genuine, showed true contrition, and that you realized what you said was completely off base?