You were also turning yourself into a 1955 housewife. Plus you’re preventing him from being able to share and bond in the relationship. Give up some of the control and involve your boyfriend if you want him there

I would say, let the whole mess golf from the previous incident. When you’re around her, be friendly as friendly as she is with you just read the room basically. There isn’t really anything to fix you already. Apologize do not over apologize.

Never have everybody’s family live with you. It’s a toxic mess. So that is what you could’ve done differently now get yourself out of there immediately and don’t go back ever no matter what he says.

I would question what happened on the boys trips. Most married women know when your husband buy jewelry or lots of roses that he’s done something bad. The fact that he’s insecure about you going is even more telling he’s afraid. Maybe you will do what he did something is up.

That’s why if you do it anonymously she won’t know that it’s you at all. That’s why I thought she wouldn’t be able to hear you. She would think you were just jealous.

You can create an account and anonymously let her know, and then let her deal with it how she does. I doubt that she can hear it from you anyway.

Check out medical news today. It has a lot of useful information and they actually said the hymen does make a difference so I don’t think the jury is on out honest truth is it will get better you will enjoy sex.

It also seems to old are you are when your virginity is lost the harder it can get I’m speaking of the hymen now

In regard to the hymen, it is a lot more complicated. You are absolutely correct, but it’s not as simple as you’re making it seem. Different people have them different sizes some Harden as they get older there’s all kinds of variables but you’re right it’s not as clear cut as I was always taught. There’s something else.

The first time vaginal sex can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful, but that’s absolutely normal and that is taken from a medical site. Some women may even bleed during the first time in sex. Which goes to my point, which is what this young woman was talking about which is the first time is usually painful for most women. I have never met a woman that said it wasn’t so you are very lucky and good for you .

Also, thank you because I lost my virginity so long ago I didn’t pay any attention and I had boys, so I never had to deal with it. So you learn something every day. But the home is a lot more complicated than you’re making it and it does stretch across from some women, but most women you’re right it doesn’t go all the way across the vagina. Which explains why you can use tampons most women, one and 200 count by the way thank you again.

I probably would say something snarky like good luck with that.

Well, I’m glad your first time didn’t hurt, but we were told that when we were young and most every woman I know has some level of pain attached to it because you’re breaking a hymen. Period.

It doesn’t does not always hurt that way I was using voice recognition in it auto corrected it. I am so sorry I’m gonna go and delete that. The first time after that it doesn’t.

Suicide is pretty severe, and then my experience poly relationships are exactly that. It gives one person in this case I believe your boyfriend, the ability to go outside of the relationship, whenever and wherever with whomever he wants I wish you the best of luck. Please take care of yourself and I’m gonna tell you it’s not worth it. These relationships never developed into a deep and meaningful abiding love

Just so you know, in my experience of which is way too long to talk about I know that people Bragg a lot do so because it’s not true. It’s like building up their own self-esteem. So I would agree with you. I don’t think he can really do that.

If you want to have sex, it’s a necessity. And we all went through it anybody that’s a girl that ever had sex went through it. It hurts the first for me a little bit the second time and then no more and it’s better than fingers.

Yeah, he doesn’t want to get married so I would let him go and find somebody else. Immediately they’ll go file custody papers because things get ugly when people separate. Or move away and then file custody papers. You can live how you wanna live.

I know you want friends, but let go of this friend group there’s racist as anything. They are not your friends friends don’t behave like that find friends in a different way. When I first went out on my own, and I was very young I had all kinds of friends find. I had old people, friends, young people, all kinds of diversity as I was in a big city. And I was happy with them.

Tell your mother. First, as a mother, I would be really sad that you had to find that out. Secondly, as a wife, I would want to know.

Personally, even though the age difference is only 10 years, this man is grooming you. I don’t believe on your own that you want to have other partners I think you want to fall in love and be with the person you love. And I think some of your distress is because he is pushing you so that he can cheat when he’s gone and make it legal so you have to deal with it. You need to get out of this relationship. Your suicidal thoughts though probably have origins in other things previously are due to stress of living in a way you don’t really want to live. And I’m not sure if you’re even aware of it.

Well, I didn’t get that, but she’s still a little catty without all of the other stuff. You’re just the more mature one. I still think it may be about her own self-esteem and competitiveness also. Like somehow you’re gonna outshine her. It’s actually really negative.

I would have a talk with her though I don’t know that she’s gonna completely understand or admit where she’s coming from. Since your friend she might though, and it’s worth it.

She’s a little caddy, a little young, and a little competitive. All of her opinions of oh, it’s impossible to buy a house. No no it’s not people do it every day. But then you know that just don’t let her affect you she’s young and she’s basing it also on her own stuff like my stuff is great we’re building a camper so we can travel. It’s just immaturity and maybe competitiveness. It would be like you saying well you’re just young right now when you get older, you’ll understand the value of the house. She’s talking to you like that but from her perspective.

I appreciate your culture and your references to let us know where you were. However, you did break her heart, and in the United States most people do not see Black people marrying white people as colonization. It’s a very old and provincial ideal. But understandable because you’re African. So at this point, there’s really nothing that you can do your a married man now, so leave her alone do not be friends with her and just be polite colleagues within your friend group.

OK that makes more sense. I’m of a mine were you may need to start making other friends. Do you have other people to go to that are outside of the group.

You can still say we broke up because he cheated and leave it at that. Because when you don’t do that you’re not even sticking up for yourself, you’re protecting his needs over your own. And he already did that. I had a group in my 20s like that to an eventually I just moved away from them. To nine own self be true.

I swear I’m gonna finish reading it, but just the title alone I do not understand why people are trying to protect a person that is harmed them. Protecting an extra cheats usually gets turned back on you in someway because they’re not going to fess up.

Some of this stuff I read hear unread it is sort of malarkey. Since the beginning of time people that issues with different things, traumas with different things. They still had sex. In a relationship with two adult sex is an important component. If your little beetles are the same, that’s OK then but in this case clearly, it’s not. I would sit down and have a long talk with her, and either compromise, or decide to go your separate ways.