Because I'm not the most internally/mentally stable and consistent individual and there are certain factors that affect my reasoning and behavior. I guess.
For example, my attachment style is quite clearly avoidant. That means that I deeply crave intimacy, but at the same time distance myself from people when they get too close, like in romantic relationships. I find it very hard to commit, often fixate on the negatives (no matter how miniscule) and so on, if that makes sense.
Basically, I can't fully rely on my "gut feelings" about people because some of my defense mechanisms masquerade as gut feelings.
AficionadoOfBoop OP t1_iyd5lnh wrote
Reply to comment by CasualObservationist in LPT request: How to deal with ambivalent feelings towards someone? by AficionadoOfBoop
Most people aren't in relationships that are worth repairing anyway, it seems.