My dude, she made YOU feel pretty uneasy, too. Was banging and screaming at a locked door peak maturity? No, but neither was not having the basic decency to talk to you for 2 minutes to tell you that her friend needed her advice and she'd be out of pocket for a little while. You don't bring your partner to a party and then pretend they don't exist while you give all of your attention to other people.

She's not respecting your boundaries, so she's not going to listen when you tell her to leave you alone. She's going to push the fact that you're family to get as much out of you as she can like she has with other family members. Stand your ground and stay safe.

Even if it's because he's inexperienced with women, it still makes no sense. He doesn't touch his phone after work? Days off, either? You don't work with him, so about 100% of your relationship would be during his non-working time, but you don't get to spend a minute of that talking to him? You shouldn't commit any more time to him if he can't commit any of his personal time to you.

Do you know for sure he was abusive, or was that just her story to you? Because there is no way someone with an ounce of self respect calls an abuser their best friend if they're also an ex. Find someone who tells you the truth and ours you, as their current partner, first.

Have you even met him in person yet? I can't think of a single scenario where there isn't a huge red flag reason why this is happening, and it mostly comes down to he's either married or living with his girlfriend.