Info: who told you you look “okay” without makeup? Has your bf ever expressed any sort of feeling like this?

Based on your post as written, it sounds as if you’re taking him being enthusiastic about you in makeup as a criticism of you outside of makeup? Rather than talking to him about it

If that is actually the case, my advice is to talk to him about it

If he is blatantly trying to tell you you’re only attractive in makeup, I’d personally opt out of that relationship myself but it really depends on how you feel about it

r/NotHowGirlsWork

I would highly advise continuing therapy. And just tell them exactly how you said here, that you have a tendency to avoid (and why) and they might be able to help you through THAT too

Therapy can be really helpful

But sometimes it feels like it hurts as much as it helps

Think of it like taking stitches out. It hurts a bit, but it’s sooooo much better than leaving it in

As someone who had genuine problems controlling themselves as a child, this sort of self analysis was extremely helpful.

And pre arranged code words can help kind of shock yourself out of the “natural” response

Can you elaborate on what cry-shouting is? Is it just loudly sobbing or do you yell at people etc?

When I was a kid I had problems controlling my emotions, and it was really hard for me to stop in the moment (I lashed out)

If you can’t pause and think before lashing out yet, at least call yourself out honestly every time afterward. Think about why, what, etc you felt the way you did

Break it down as logically as possible, and then next time you’re angry, try to think about it and ask whether you’re reacting similarly this time

It sometimes takes a while but eventually you can change yourself for the better if you really want to, and you really consistently try to