AssCumBoi
AssCumBoi t1_je9kywo wrote
Reply to I never use the 1, 6, 8, or 9 button on my oven by VVynn
Cool, now wash your hands and go over that with a cloth and some hot water
AssCumBoi t1_je8vrve wrote
Reply to comment by 8i66ie5ma115 in TIL that tularemia is an infectious disease that can be contracted by “inhaling particles from an infected rabbit ground up [by] a lawnmower”. by krisalyssa
I feel like Nazil is kind of an unfortunate name. It's kind of a mix between Nazi and Nazgul
AssCumBoi t1_jduogky wrote
Reply to comment by Ok_Yoghurt_3338 in TIL Stop signs used to be BLACK ON YELLOW by sexyson91
Black and yellow. I feel like there's a song in there
AssCumBoi OP t1_j6bcqrl wrote
Reply to comment by insertcaffeine in [PM] Give me something close to your heart and I'll try my best to write about it/a story around it. by AssCumBoi
I look forward to writing about Bill. They sound like a lovely person. Hopefully, I'll get a story for you tomorrow (I'm going to sleep now, I was more tired than I thought)
AssCumBoi OP t1_j6ba5pt wrote
Reply to comment by Crystal1501 in [PM] Give me something close to your heart and I'll try my best to write about it/a story around it. by AssCumBoi
Sorry, I didn't get very far because I am quite sleepy but here is what I wrote, so far.
​
The first thing she did after unlocking the door, to her own home, was open the fridge. As she expected, everything was foul or plain rotten. It did not matter to her though, because nothing could beat that feeling of normalcy; being able to open your fridge and knowing that every single item there belongs to you. Even though they are all, either been spoiled for long made whole colonies of living things for themselves. As exciting rotten foods were, she made her way to her bedroom and threw her body onto the mattress. Nothing compares to your own bed, she thought to herself. This was a far cry from the firm beds she was used to, this one could swallow her wholy. It was a level of comfort she had not experienced for years. She started to fondle the phone she had installed at her nightstand, ‘what a fantastic tool‘ she thought. At that moment, the phone rang for the first time, in a long time.
“Yes?” she asked.
Going by the voice, she assumed it was a boy that had called her.
“Can I talk to Mr. Mort Here Raire?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Mort does not reside here.”
“Could you call him, please? I promise you that it is important.”
“I don’t know what joke you are playing at but I am the only resident of this house, there is no Mr. Mort here, nor is he in my neighborhood.”
“Why don’t you just eat shit? Murdering whore!” he said right before he hung up the phone.
AssCumBoi OP t1_j6b5bd9 wrote
Reply to comment by Crystal1501 in [PM] Give me something close to your heart and I'll try my best to write about it/a story around it. by AssCumBoi
Fantastic idea. Now I wonder, would you rather I'd write in first person or third?
AssCumBoi t1_ix5zase wrote
Reply to comment by CA_Orange in Humans could be living on the moon in the next 10 years, Nasa says by Aggravating_Pie7747
Yeah lol. Plus they are just inefficient planes anyway. The fuel cost would be enormous when you can just not waste energy keeping it in the air. And it'd so fucking loud, imagine how fucking much it would suck living near a high traffic flying car area
AssCumBoi t1_ix5qk3t wrote
Reply to comment by darlin-clementine in A chocolate covered cashew that I mistook for my other earbud. by darlin-clementine
Haha, "nuts"
AssCumBoi t1_iucgsbc wrote
Reply to comment by QuentinUK in TIL In China more than 40 million people live in caves by likessvenska
Tbf that makes sense to me
AssCumBoi t1_je9o8qa wrote
Reply to Condom and lube vending machine by Logical_Scientist221
After I orgasm I'm going to yell out "Finissimo!"