"Confronting" her is just going to make you like like the bad guy -- or your partner look like the bad guy; what she is doing is deniable. She's just a worker in your building; can you both ignore her? She says HIIIIIII to your partner; he ignores. You see her, you ignore. This isn't a person worth your feelings of discomfort.

How did he react with you when you were totally needy?

You broke up with her and she kissed someone else. She doesn't have to and won't regret this the rest of her life; it's a trivial thing she did and she didn't do it to you. You dumped her and she reacted. It's part of dumping someone, that the person you dump may lash out or run out and do something sexually with someone else? If you can't stand the thought of kissing her anymore, and you already dumped her for (lol) feeling you were no longer meant to be, perhaps leave each other as ex partners and move on?

So you're saying you have probably Covid and instead of knowing that and how it can affect your sense of taste, you blamed her for bland cooking...? Is that what I'm reading here?

I mean, it's fine to separate out laundry. My partner and I don't do each others'? But wipe "your" floor? Have you talked about what it means for you to wipe "his" floor? I mean, a floor's a floor & everyone dirties it. It doesn't sound to me as if he wants you to do all the chores, but you need to talk with him about an equitable distribution before you marry (and if you can't, do not marry).

Totally. It's been long enough since my mom died that I don't even always remembre the actual date, but the runup to the date finds me out of sorts, irritable, not even knowing why necessarily. it also happens around her birthday & her anniversary date with my dad. It's great that you're in therapy to learn coping skills! Losing a parent is awful, if you had a good relationship with them.

Naw, see the work of Dr. Helen Fisher on different ways we experience love, romantic love & sexuality. You can totally love somone and have a brief sexual thought about another -- and brief sexual thoughts seem pretty common from my talks with other people. But perhaps this is not a kind thing to mention to a partner. After all, unless you have a kink around these things, most people don't really want to hear that their partner experiences sexual thoughts towards others? Having a brief sexual thought about another is not a horrible thing, it's just a human thing.

Nothing wrong with you. Exploring your options is pretty much your job at your age, so of course you think of these things.

someone who "refuses" to acknowledge your communication about your relationship with them is someone who is harassing you. There is no excuse for this, and you have no duty of care to coddle it.

Go on your date. An ask out isn't an engraved invitation from the White House. You aren't stuck in any way, you need to be honest with the guy who is harassing you (yes, he is), and do what you want.

She's moving in one month. Put your head down, stop giving in to her demands, leave her shit where she leaves it, don't clean up after her, and keep track of your kitty.

>>And mind you, he barely initiates sex with me anymore so how could he please ANOTHER woman when he rarely has sex with me???

This is obvious: He gets off on novelty. Now that you have been with him awhlie, you are no longer sexually novel. Another woman would be novel, so he'd fck her like mad (sorry) and possibly bring that energy to you as well, but it isn't a given. Until he got tired of her, too.

It's not fair to compare you to others, and she should know that you didn't like that. Why is it important you be "close" with her brother -- has she said? Because as long as you're not an asshole with family, the rest of the relationship is pretty much up to the 2 people involved.

>> He said I was selfish and being materialistic.

This is not the dude for you, perhaps? You're working your ass off, and your totally reasonable financial goals for the future are, in his words "selfish" and "materialistic." He is happy to work 4 hours a day & not try to advance while you conveniently pay for nearly everything, including his own car! I will never understand how so many on top of it women accept this type of being used by a man financially, while at the same time being called "selfish" for not wanting to be used. He's snowing you and your response is "how can I support him EVEN MORE." (Edited: The audacity of your dude is making me see red tbh.)

Perhaps "Co-Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie might help you? For eg, if you want to talk to her about your feelings & she starts crying so you walk everything back (as you said), that's called "derailling" and focusing on her feels rather than yours. You don't have to be derailed. You can say "I know you're sad but I really need to talk about x. I'll give you a minute & then let's get back to what I need to talk about." YOu thinking it's your job to fix things for her is co-dependence,

>>She cries at least once a week and it’s basically always my job to console her and fix her problem.

You don't have to console her! Let her cry, remove yourself, come back later. You're telling yourself a bad story if you say it's your job to console her. You don't have to do that.

You are jealous, though, because your bf clearly treated his ex with consideration that he isn't extending to you? You know, you could just....decline...to stop paying for him when he's low on funds. Right?

It happens sometimes; thank him for the thought & then let it pass?