That’s a great one

Exactly. Automated menus are how rich companies screen people who they don’t want to deal with.

The important lesson is, if you answer the prompts straightforward, they'll never route you to a person who can help.

You have to give an unexpected/unclear answer if you want to reach a real person.

Swearing often does not work. Especially with the big banks and cell phone companies, the automated menu does not care how angry you get.

Companies won't automatically upgrade your account without you approving it. Especially because if you need something like additional business licenses, they don't even know how much to charge you unless you talk to a representative.

I agree companies are not dumb. They create these automated systems because they know it will dissuade the vast majority of customers who are filing complaints or requesting refunds.

The whole system is designed to prevent you from talking to the right person based on which prompts you choose. If you're not able to get through to someone, you need to answer the prompts in a way that is more likely to route you to a human.

Exactly. Same concept.

If they think you'll ask for a refund, they'll never let you speak to an actual human being.

If they think they can get money out of you, someone will talk to you right away. Once that person realizes they cannot get any money from you, they will pawn you off to someone else as quickly as possible.

If they make you hold too long just call them back. Once they realize it's easier to just let someone else deal with you, they'll transfer you to whoever the right person is.

Exactly. If you run a department, processing a $50 credit for interrupting someone’s service is no big deal. It is a much better use of their time to process it than to fight you for 30 minutes.

But a low ranking customer service person? The train you to exhaust literally every other option in the book, and when you finally have to grant the discount, they hold it against you.

I’ve been that poor schmuck. If someone called me, I had to sit there and troubleshoot them and do everything in my power to stop them from getting refunded.

If the call went straight to my boss, he would process the refund and the call would be over in 90 seconds.

If I get through to a low ranking person I tell them “hey I know this isn’t your fault, and also that you’re probably not authorized to process my request. Your company screwed up, and if if you transfer me to your boss, they can probably resolve this in 2 minutes.”

>if the company isn’t complete shiza, one of these should work

I've actually found that the biggest companies are the ones who make it hardest to reach a live person. They've done the math and have figured out how to extract as much money from customers as possible with as little human effort as required.

If you can actually get routed to someone with the authority to process a refund, they know giving you what you want is cheaper than arguing with you for 20 minutes.

Talking to the right person for 2 minutes will usually get you what you need if you have good people skills on the phone.

The trick is not to talk to the lowest ranking person in the call center. They don't have the authority to help you, so they waste your time and try to send you back to the queue.

If you know how to get past them and through to their boss, they'll get it done in 2 minutes. I've gotten refunds, discounted monthly rate, reversals of charges, etc from banks cell phone companies, gyms by just knowing how to get someone on the phone who has the authority to process such a request.

>And most of all, we don't you screwing with Our metrics by incentivizing this approach.

Exactly why I shared this tip. These automated systems are designed to benefit the company at the costumer's. Your boss's numbers look better if you can prevent people from cancelling or receiving refunds/credits when their service is disrupted.

But if you're a person who needs a refund but you're got screwed, it's in your best interest to talk to a human being, not a chatbot.

>The 'warm xfer' is first agent calling 2nd agent and saying something like "this joker called me to get out of the system

This is not what happens. These people are busy. It's in their interest to transfer you to the correct line and get back to work, not call and conspire with other departments to teach you about the automated menu.

The tip is to talk to a human when you're being kept out by an automated menu.

First you'll be transferred to a human in the wrong department. If you are polite and ask them simply to transfer you to a human that can process your request, they will.

Not always. Sometimes "speak to a human" prompts the automated menu to recommend you check out the help topics online.

Seems like that's more and more often the case.

That's a good one too. They almost certainly have a human handling those calls.

Exactly. They don't get mad, they just transfer you because they can't help you.

If there is a person they can transfer you to, they usually will. Be polite and explain you're getting nowhere with the automated system.

They have no incentive to interrogate you. It's in their best interest to transfer you as quickly as possible and not waste time.

CEO's don't even talk to happy customers, much less unhappy ones.

CEO's don't even talk to their own employees.

I have found this is not the case. Customers who are angry and yelling random swears are more likely to get what they want from customer service.

The automated menus are designed to make sure unsatisfied customers never reach another human being in the organization.