BlueDaisyCat

BlueDaisyCat t1_j25g6zt wrote

Reply to [WP] A cartel lists their warehouse as an indoor playground as a cover. One problem: Someone extremely rich has just booked it for a kid's birthday party. If that kid doesn't have the time of their life, the whole operation may go under. by smoov22

"Ok Guido, you have your brother bringing in pizza's from his place right? The GOOD ones not the ones they serve the customers!"

"All set boss!"

"Antonio, you're in charge of balloons. That means decorations AND animals. Remember you're tyin' them into shapes NOT wringin their necks! Be genteel!"

"Youse got it boss!"

"Francesco, your wife and the girls are making a tiramasu the size of a buick yeah?"

"AND cupcakes boss- with sprinkles and sh..stuff"

"Oh yeah that reminds me- you guys gotta watch your fu.... flippin language. These are kids!"

**mixed chorus of muttering and head nods** "yeah yeah ok boss"

"Lorenzo, you're in charge of games. Remember these are kids playin with NERF guns- everyone has to lock up their guns, knives, brass knuckles, AND phones in the office before the shindig starts. And no encouraging rough housing god forbid one of these little punks should get hurt- we'd get our asses sued into next tuesday."

"Gina, you're in charge of singin happy birthday toos youse. You did that thing for that tryout for a chance to audition for that who wants to kiss an american millionaire right?"

"I'll knock em dead uncle Vincenzo!"

"Great- ok, everyone go lock up your stuff, and change into your costumes."

*dissenting grumbles and mutters*

"Look I don't I don't like this any more than youse guys but we're doin this or we're doin time! Now shaddup and go get your Smurf suits on!"

** in unison ** "yes Papa Smurf"

" Oh you guys are freakin hilarious."

Vincenzo stuffed the red hat on his head, and the stuck the fake beard on his face. He could only hope the other Don's never heard about his stint as "Godfather Smurf" On the other hand, if this worked out the cover for the warehouse was secure AND they were getting paid a smurfload of cash to boot.

PS: Thank you for the awards - I'm glad you enjoyed reading this =]

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BlueDaisyCat t1_j23zzlu wrote

Reply to [WP] Your fellow adventurers have magic swords named things like Hellreaver, Spiteblade the Drinker of Souls, and Dragonstooth. Your magic sword is named Jeff. by SqueakyFarts99

There have been a lot of famous enchanted weapons recounted in the tales of Bards and in the lorebooks of Wizards.

There was Svarlang the Shiny- a Paladin's blade, it could blast apart undead and demons with it's Holy Radiance. Medral the Metoric - a hammer that could smash through anything, for nothing was stronger than the starmetal it was cast from. There was Vandrung the Vicious, a stilletto imbued with a point so sharp and a poison so deadly that even Dragons would jump back in fear to avoid its merest scratch. And then there was Jeff. Just Jeff.

Jeff was... different. Special. Not your typical sentient enchanted blade. Not the sort of weapon carried forth into battle by Heroes. Jeff wasn't particuarly dangerous looking or even very impressive. Definitely not flashy or intimidating. Jeff radiated more of an air of quiet, practical efficiency. He came with a nice sheath and his own whetstone, oil, and polish kit.

Despite Jeff's unimpressive appearance he was considered the treasured right hand of monarchs. A Kingmaker, the foundation stone of mighty empires. With Jeff's help a kingdom could flourish and grow, the people could live in plenty with low taxes and well run civil services. For Jeff bore a mighty enchantment, he was created with +5 Accountancy and +5 Civil Engineering.

Jeff the mighty blade of Logistics and Budgeting was truly one of the greatest enchanted blades of the Age!

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