I just want to point out that she is abusive. No argument should escalate to violence. She threw a wine bottle at you and you had to go to the hospital. Please leave her. You don't deserve to tolerate abuse, you deserve better.

As far as bottom surgery, only get it if you want it. Don't do it for someone else.

This sounds like a really good topic to address in individual therapy. There are modalities such as DBT which help specifically with emotion regulation.

You are calling yourself a "predator" to people (multiple times) and then wonder why they treat you like a threat? The connotation of "predator" is to be a threat. I would recommend not calling yourself that if you don't want that reaction. Also, you don't need to act like an alpha male to be badass.