Because I trust her. She would only lie to me with good reason and I have been given no reason to believe that she would lie about that. Also I was aware in advance of her current job having a high % of mental health issues and therapists being provided through work so it is a very believable scenario. No reason to not trust her. Just didn't understand or appreciate her lying to me.

No I have not. But again I trust her and I have no reason to believe that she would lie to me about that. My biggest issue is I couldn't come up with any reason that she would be hiding who she was talking to from me.

Thanks for your feedback. I really appreciate you trying to help me in my goal of strengthening my relationship with my wife. As I said I do trust her, but I feel as tho she lied to me. How am do you respond when someone you trust lies to you?

I appreciate you being mature about this and taking the time to explain your point of view. As this is a serious issue and I take this very seriously it means a lot to me.

She didn't say it's private. She got defensive and said "just friends". If she had just said it's private I would have let it be because I trust her. But because she got defensive and lied my spidey senses went off.

Honestly I think that would be a great idea. Thank you.

First of all, her seeing a therapist is something I have wanted for her for years but never new how to tell her without it offending her. So I support this 100%! Especially now with a new emotionally taxing job as an ER Veterinarian its super important. My worst nightmare is relationship problems and I don't believe that is the case.

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Am I the asshole for feeling betrayed and lied to? Am I just blowing this way out of proportion from my angle? Maybe I'm hurt because I've wanted to get a therapist for the last 6 months but haven't felt financially stable enough. Maybe this is all on me?

She is a very private person and the biggest barrier we have in our relationship is her personal walls. She is very proud and very smart and her getting a therapist may feel like a weakness to her at this point. If it was just within a few days it would be ok from all angles for her to take a little time to let me know about it.

B) She made it seem like me questioning her a second time and telling her I was concerned with the defensive reaction I was mistrusting her. Also continuing to be concerned about it shows I don't trust her (?).

C) This is my worst nightmare and the reason I want to make sure to discuss this right away! That being said, she has recently (3mo) taken a job as an ER Veterinarian. There are many emotional hurdles to the position and her getting a therapist is well within normal expectation.

Thank you. Thank you. That's my concern. She could have just told me "its private we can talk about it later" and I would have happily respected that because I trust her. The mistrusting came in because of the obvious and repeated lie.