Catspaw129 t1_j2fqiez wrote


Maybe you misunderstand?

I wasn't talking about you ironing YOUR sheets. I was talking about you ironing MY sheets.

There's a crucial difference there.

If you do a nice job and I'm all warm and cozy when I put myself down to sleep in those freshly pressed sheets, then I'll give your a good review! (I have 3 followers on Facebook!)


Catspaw129 t1_j2djnrl wrote


First: I wasn't talking about you.


It seems you are taking this personally; so, may I rephrase?

"Someone, not named Jimmireman, may have -- sometime in the past -- been blessed with a passel of young children (maybe nephew and nieces) and, in a desperate attempt to establish just a little bit of order to their life, took to ironing their bed linens."

*This rephrasing is offered with gentle humor.


Catspaw129 t1_j2db9lw wrote

I can confirm.

My neighbors once called 911 to have a "wellness check" performed on me. Did medical professionals show up? Of course not. Cops showed up.

The cops, citing "reasonable cause" or some such nonsense insisted on doing a search. They discovered that I had put the fitted sheet on my bed "wrong" and issued me a citation.


Catspaw129 t1_j2d7p11 wrote

By golly: You raise a good point -- the doubling down on heroic virtue thingy.

Even as I write this I am negotiating for the charter of a helicopter with downward facing speakers with a Wagner soundtrack (and of course a PR firm with a photographer.)

I wish we had this discussion about a week ago: I could have swooped down from the sky and provided aid and comfort to all those folks stranded by Southwest Airlines by tossing rolls of toilet tissue to those unfortunate souls!

A well-documented act like that is surely worthy of expedited sainthood.


Catspaw129 t1_j2ci1kf wrote

What? Do you think this is funny?

I've been waiting for quite a while; in my time I've endured:

- 2 English monarchs

- A gaggle of popes

- Who knows how many English PM's (one of which could not afford/know how to use a comb)

And yet, here I am, waiting for sainthood, or at least to be beatified, for having survived Sr. Mary Penguin's viciously creased sheets and pillows (which did not do anything good for my red blood cell count or my hemoglobin values.)

I know that saints have to suffer adversity; but, you know, there is a limit to such things...

~ Catspaw129 (candidate for sainthood)