I mean, unless you two specifically discussed expectations for your fwb situation and that included texting a certain amount, I don't really think he's necessarily doing anything wrong. It sounds like you're wanting him to put in the same effort that he would in a committed relationship.

You need to talk to her about it. She may just be assuming you know you're invited or that you may not want to go for some reason.

Either way, she has no way of knowing your feelings are hurt if you don't tell him. She can do what she wants on her birthday, but I doubt she would be entirely uncaring about how you feel.

On the one hand, most of my coworkers and I have each other on snapchat and it isn't ALWAYS that deep. That being said, he also has her phone number and she lied to you. And her lie doesn't even really make all that much sense. Regardless of her reasons she's definitely not being straightforward with you and that's a red flag.

If he loses you as a friend it would be the consequences of his own actions. Coercing someone into physical intimacy is NEVER ok regardless of anyone's sexuality. Using your friendship as ammunition to try to get you to do so makes it even worse.

He's not being a good friend to you, and you don't need to feel guilty. If he's consistently asking you and pushing for it after you've repeatedly said no, he's outright ignoring boundaries you're setting. If you want to try to maintain any sort of friendship you need to let him know you're uncomfortable and that this behavior isn't appropriate, but if he doesn't stop you may want to put some distance between the two of you.

This is his own issue to work through and trying to control your behavior as a way to manage his anxiety isn't appropriate. It would be one thing to ask for an occasional check-in/update to reassure him that you're safe etc, but getting upset at you for doing completely normal and healthy activities is unreasonable. Sounds like he needs some therapy.

I know Tinder stopped emailing me after my account was inactive for a while. I'm not sure if they send periodic pushy emails to reinstall it again or something, although if it were trying to advertise the availability of a new membership program it might be that.