CermaitLaphroaig
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyex5ue wrote
The key is to be patient and understanding. He's new to this, and DEFINITELY new to talking about this out loud with another human being. A sense of humor and a lot of reassurance will go a long way. Frame your requests as, well, requests, clearly explained, and not as a critique. It may feel weird to be so matter-of-fact about something that we often want to feel spontaneous, but until he knows what you like (and what he himself likes), it's the only way.
Make sure you ask a lot of questions about what he wants, as well. Don't scoff or put down "vanilla" stuff if he mentions it. Ask him how he feels about stuff, and when you DO try new things that you like, make sure you tell him, give him positive feedback.
Honestly, it sounds like you have a very loving and healthy approach here, so I doubt you're going to laugh at him or something, but making him feel comfortable talking about it all, and making him feel listened to, will really help.
ETA: I realized this is all very focused on making him comfortable, and not advocating for what you want in the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with you wanting more variety in your sex life. I just think that this way will be better for ensuring that it's a fun and intimate experience for you both, and that he'll gain confidence and comfort with you along the way, which will help make it all more organic.
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyevnzj wrote
Reply to comment by rosesandkittens5 in My son (7m) isn’t my husband’s(29m) and I (27f) don’t know who to talk to by rosesandkittens5
"almost" lol ok
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyevlv0 wrote
Reply to My son (7m) isn’t my husband’s(29m) and I (27f) don’t know who to talk to by rosesandkittens5
So you've been actively cheating within the last 2 years as well?
Oof. Well... good luck
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyeorek wrote
Reply to Wife cheated on me multiple times. Feels unfair, Should I ask for something in return? by [deleted]
LMAO, so she cheats and the compromise to "fix it" is that she fucks whoever she wants but you don't?
Of course she's lying now, she has literally never stopped lying and cheating. The compensation would be to GET THE FUCK OUT, DUDE
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyd9t9l wrote
Reply to Bringing girls home by LuckySport541
So three dudes brought three strange girls home, but it was his friends who wanted to do it, and then they were having "deep conversations" at 6AM after partying all night at the club. And nothing happened!
Sure, Jan
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iuj9hqa wrote
I agree with the other posters, I have a feeling she's very stressed in general (wedding planning suuuuucks), and you should proceed assuming it's not about you.
Once the chaos subsides, if you still have issues? Then maybe reach out and ask if she's ok/are you guys ok. But don't sweat the wedding.
CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyf070j wrote
Reply to comment by Sad_Stuff8265 in I need help from both men and women, please! by Sad_Stuff8265
I totally get that. That's why I think you should place particular emphasis on making him comfortable with the process, as opposed to one position or whatever. Helping him communicate about sex in GENERAL will really pay off in the long run.