"I can't believe I didn't jerk off for 5 days because I thought maybe the Lord decided to save me from my heart attack and it's all due to my life of sin."

LMFAO

Bro. You’re 16, plenty of life left to live. It sounds like you need to forget about girls right now. Take the lessons you learned from these “random situations” and just focus on yourself. I’ve been in your shoes and I know it seems like the end of the world but trust me, life goes on, if you allow it to.