sigh 🙏🧿

Heard about gaslighting and it made me think he might be manipulative. Btw my therapist asked me if there could be a reason why this incident made me so agitated and hinted at me being lonely and jealous of them. Then guided me to reveal my feelings in front of my brother in my letter. I knew he'd use it against me which is why I'm always masking my vulnerabilities near him. He did use my jealousy to further blame me on the subject and so I'm low key mad at the therapist

Actually I have been feeling lacking in those areas too and will demand my therapist that we work on strengthening these areas. Thank you soooo much for calling me out<33333333 and I have been reading on defensiveness for the past 20 minutes

I started seeing her upon having a fight with my father. And my obsession with my mother where I was constantly furious with her. We mainly do talk therapy and theraphy helped me learn about emotions and got me addicted to meditating. But sometimes I question her too.

All throughout my education I always found manipulative friends wherever I went. It's like I'm a trouble magnet

Thank you so much for reading and guiding me I really appreciate it! Unfortunately as you said there's no way of fixing things with him so I always end up apologizing and compromising and inevitably ghosting my own boundaries. It's hell. When I was little he would convince me that I'm responsible for everybody's feelings and it's always me who's wrong and him who is right and he shockingly believes he ALWAYS apologizes.