Drama is ok! But I feel like your anxiety is really putting you through the wringer right now, and that sucks.

I don't think you need to necessarily not be in a relationship right now or ever, etc, but I think starting by talking to a professional isn't a bad call, tbh.

Hang in there!

Counseling, therapy, and medicating your anxiety are all things that might help you.

Saying things like DOOMED FOREVER are the same kind of anxious catastrophizing that you're doing in your relationship. You need to take a deep breath, and then you need to get some help.

You can change, but probably not on your own, or you would have been able to work through your obsession with your partner's experience by now. It's a relatable insecurity, but many people find it a minor one or move past it. But you're stuck, and it's not healthy for either of you.

Yeah it's usually only a problem when one partner is always the one who is more/has more and the other always is or has less...

Mostly people won't judge your relationship as long as your relationship isn't obviously, to a 3rd party perspective, suffering from an unaddressed power imbalance.

If your partner is immature or left a relationship with someone in his age group to be with you, or never dates women his own age, he might get criticized for that too.

There are always outsiders who will judge a relationship. They aren't worth listening to, usually, as long as you keep your eyes open to the potential pitfalls yourself and steer clear of them.