Don't trust him right away, he's a vampire, he's probably supernaturally charming, etc. But who cares about that, the point to take away from all this is "You can live every girl and gay's dream... and bone that vampire if you play your cards right."

Really hoping the "you'll be dead in a year" means you're gonna be a vampire, babe! And not just dead-dead instead. I think the only way to keep the motel going and every weird guest under control indefinitely is to just be immortal anyway. You asked who would take that seat when your gone, and who better than you (again).

Cautiously optimistic about Rene, I hope he turns into a good ally at the very least but there's a part of me that's suspicious of his timing and his connection to the motel and the way he just showed up unannounced.

That makes sense too, then, since you also tried to block out the sound. Meanwhile even if your friend had tried it seems like he had already been there before and hearing a second time probably didn't do him any favors.

How long has your family lived in the area? Kinda weird that both you AND your grandfather were at least immune enough to leave. Either that or it let you leave to tell your story and get a whole new generation looking for it and heading straight to the heart.

Looks like your daughter took out a rival! Wish La Nona had been around a little longer to give her some guidance with her gift, but it seems she's figuring it out on her own pretty well; and, well, La Nona doesn't seem like she's ready to leave just yet.

I'd say get her enrolled in some cooking classes, maybe see if La Nona left some of her cookbooks behind.

OP: "No one likes me because I am awkward and try too hard"

Me: Oh, come on, it can't be that bad, you just need to put yourself out there more! People will like you!

OP: "I didn't know what to get my coworker for his birthday so I ordered a sex doll."

Me: You know what? Maybe if you put yourself out there a little less...

Girl about the time you saw the claws I'd've realized something's up followed those rules to a T. And then gradually "Eric" would come to love me and let me decorate that enormous mansion however I want (decandently and also with all the tackiest shit at the thrift store), and one day I'd see his true monsterous form and he'd be like "Oh no! You've seen my true monsterous form and will be scared away forever!" and I'd be like "Babygirl this is a good thing. You're like my dream man. Never bother changing back."

And then we'd bang in every room but the second bedroom on the left.

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I got lost in the fantasy there and forgot the point I was going to make. You really could've had it all though.

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EDIT: Remembered the other thing. $5 for a "massage"? Please tell me this story took place like 100 years ago.

Well if you're typing this from your phone, I'd try to call Cristy again. First, ask her to confirm the number of dogs she has. It's possible "Kana" was never one of her dogs to begin with. If she says Kana's hers, ask her if there were any additional instructions on caring for HER specifically, bc clearly this woman knows how to live with her long term, there's gotta be something you're missing.

If not, well, it seems you might be safe to try to go in for your keys if you wait til daylight, "Kana" didn't seem to be as dangerous at least (I don't recommend this)

If all else fails, just take to the road and keep walking til you find someone to help.