You stop him stealing from you by stopping being anywhere near him. His stealing is not “out of character”. This is his character and anything else he’s made you believe about him was merely acting in order to get access to his personal ATM, which is how he sees you and whoever he’s conned into being his “best friend”.

I hope you changed your lock after he stole your key. If not you need to do that.

I’m very sorry but there is no good future in this relationship. He’s a thief and a conman.

“My kids are all very materialistic which is a trait I don’t like in them.”

Except you and they are in this mess because of how materialistic you are.

You can’t “fix” this. But the least you can do is start thinking about your kids’ welfare first. This is one long tale of “woe is me” and I can’t see any compassion for your children whatsoever. Your husband will get over you, hopefully quickly, but your kids are going through hell right now. They’ve lost their Dad, their home, their school, their friends, and their security and safety. They’ve even lost who they thought was their Mom. And all you can do is complain about how it all affects you. It isn’t even about the cheating. Bad as that is, your complete self absorption and lack of regard for your children is horrendous.

Get a job and work out how you’re going to financially support all those kids until they’re all old enough to get far, far, away from you. The very least you have to do, is put a roof over their heads and feed them.

You are allowed to want better sex and his defeatist, lazy, selfish, and jealous, attitude to his issues says that he doesn’t care about your pleasure at all. At your age, you should be having lots of wonderful sex and working out what is good for you but I’m afraid you are never going to get that with this man, not because he can’t, but because he couldn’t be bothered enough about your pleasure to try. He is unlikely to change with marriage.

Of course. You can’t put a timeline on healing from trauma. Just be straight with them about disengaging from the friendship.

Best of luck with everything

Your feelings are valid. You are processing trauma. Be honest with your friends about your struggles. If they are as great as you say I’m sure they will understand your need to disengage for a time while you continue your healing journey. It doesn’t have to be a complete and forever break. I hope you have some kind of therapy support available to help you.