His body, his choice.

Ahh, hadn't bothered to look myself but that would explain everything.

In the absence of any information from her as to what is going on, you really only have two choices - force the issue or try your best to ignore it.

As someone else here said, just asking a simple question "do you still love me?" is a good one to go with, however I'd be more inclined to get straight to the point and ask the obvious one "do you still want to be married to me or do you just want me to go?"

Do not accept her walking away without responding as an answer and even go to the extent of saying to her if she does, that this is all the answer you need and you'll start speaking to lawyers tomorrow as you can no longer live like this.

As things stand, you can't keep living like this and she is not going to offer any solutions, or even hint at what is wrong, then your only recourse is to default to looking out for yourself and take action to keep you happy.

Whether that happiness is found with her in your life or her out of it is something that you may have to seriously address.

Wish I had the time to do the sort of research u/ebbie45 does.

I guess OP that the telling part in whether there is something that can be recovered from this is what your mindset is now.

That you have gone from seeing and thinking and feeling about her as your wife, to not is probably the most salient thing about this story. At this stage then the only thing you really can do (short of all the logistics about divorce, etc) is to address this one thing.

Can you see yourself ever falling back in love with her knowing what you know now.

For you, that is the number 1 question you have to ask yourself. Granted that if you asked right now we all know what your answer will be ("hell no" is probably it) and that's ok. However now is not the right time to ask this of yourself.

The best time to ask yourself this is once the emotions die down and the anger subsides. Give yourself a break from her for a few weeks/couple of months and then ask yourself this question.

And then depending on what your answer is then make your decision.

Doing this will mean that you won't have any regrets when the time comes to go either towards divorce or towards reconciliation.