Aside from the advice on the bank account stuff, I would also set a budget. You will put $XX towards helping your parents every month and no more. If they don't use that amount it can roll over into next month and grow until they need it.

Money and family are a difficult mix, but especially if you're planning to start your own family, you need to put boundaries in place.

It will be hard and you will be tempted (parental blackmail and guilt trips are powerful) to break your rules. But you need to transition from just being their daughter (what's yours is theirs) to being a relative with your own family. Does your Mom ask her siblings or other relatives for money?

Remember; you're not cutting them off, you still love and want to help them, but you need to set boundaries.

This is the way.

My company is small and only has one HR person, but any update to my 401k needs to be confirmed/implemented by her.