That’s great if they’re actually offering TO help. Some people don’t, they listen, say “be positive” but don’t offer any real support or empathy because they’re not offering it, they just want the person to get over it.

IMO, you should always acknowledge someone’s pain first and THEN offer positivity/comfort/advise next, and sometimes, it’s more beneficial to outright ask first “do you want to talk and process it first or do you want advise/to change things?”

I can’t find it now, but I remember reading something where someone was upset about something and her partner asked her if she wanted him to listen and help her process and grieve about it or if he wanted her to offer help/support/suggestions and I think that’s a much better way to look at it personally.

Because there sometimes isn’t a obvious positivity, or it seems bleak/pointless even when there is one.

Would you tell a CSA survivor “just focus on the positive”? You might as well tell them to just get over it as well, or that what happened to them wasn’t that bad.

Acknowledging someone’s pain and suffering, imo, is far more beneficial for their healing, because it shows you care about and acknowledge how THEY feel.