I’m really glad you found it helpful, and I personally believe in god. (Christ) but I’m also simultaneously disappointed to a large degree with the conventional church we know today. I want to create a new one. So I’m beginning to find ways to move ahead with the creation of a new model.

The church of today is a self serving beast. It isn’t particularly helpful generally, and the few that are, are very inefficient and wasteful

-the definition of institution

a society or organization founded for a religious, educational, social, or similar purpose.

So to me the very foundation of the church institution is sort of empty, you see what I mean? It’s religion for religion’s sake, and not really for any other purpose. To have such organizations is costly, and individuals are employed for many reasons, clerical, etc. Job creation is generally good, but where should the money from a church really go? Should it go to fatten the pockets of a pastor or deacon? Or could it serve the membership better?

That’s the issue. Waste in the name of god? I don’t think that is what god wants! So through prayer, meditation, and research I am trying to find a new way to do it.

Edit: sorry to go off on a tangent! I guess your reference to the daemon is pretty accurate! As far as the video you mentioned, I don’t think I’ve seen it.

But yes I think many philosophers are aware of that “voice” it doesn’t command. But it does nag at you gently. Telling you not to do what you are about to do. In my opinion, that’s the voice of god/Christ.

I’ve fallen out of favor with god, and with myself, when what I’ve wanted to do was not in line with what I’m supposed to do in a biblical context. And that’s the struggle, I think, with humanity and our purpose, the Bible refers to that as a struggle between our spiritual body and our flesh, right? our body wants to live like all other animals, to pursue pleasure and avoid pain just like Darwin, or any other transhumanist believes. but they dont do a great job explaining why we have a conscious, and why that moral voice is in a war with our physical selves! why arent we completely free to pursue our basic and biological impulses? isnt it counter to evolution and natural selection, not to kill our enemies, or have as much sex as possible with anyone we can? The strange thing about that is, thats exactly how humans behave when they are separated from their morals… like animals…

so the answer is, (i assume) to be whole as a human being, and not in the torment of inner and social conflict means to live according to the demands of the moral authority who is god. with what you are doing, being exactly what you wanted and intended to do. No separation! your body, mind, and spirit together, moving along the straight and narrow path toward god. its like a tight rope! its easy to fall, and it takes 100% focus of your body mind and spirit to walk that path.

I’d advise against religion, only because it isn’t spirituality. Here’s something to think about that gives life, and your actions meaning, it helped me and I hope it helps you or someone else:

Do actions have consequences? Yes. They do. And those consequences are eternal. Once you’ve done something, it can’t be undone , and that consequence!is a ripple through time. It effects the future, your destiny, and effects the destiny of those around you.

Are you your body? And my conclusion to that question is , no. It isn’t. No one can tell me at what point I cease to be myself if we were to, say, remove a piece of me at a time (as a thought experiment) what piece, or fiber of my being is responsible for my personhood? The answer, is that we are more than physical beings. We are spiritual beings also, and our bodies are only vehicles, or containers for our consciousness, that’s truly what we are at our core.

So, if you’ve ever felt guilty in your life, that internal conviction is a recognition that some action you took or didn’t take had a moral consequence…

Where does morality come from? Well, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t believe it comes from society, parental structures, conditioning or anything else. I believe it comes from god. God is the supreme moral authority over our lives! So the real question to ask is “Does god exist?” Because if not, than I definitely agree, life is meaningless. Our actions have no consequence, there is a future without us, but that future is also meaningless. There is no meaning or significance to anything, but of course, that infers that there is no morality, because there are no consequences, your morals are only these flexible rules and limitations you impose on yourself. But , I think we both know deep down that isn’t true.

So, in my view, the purpose of life is obedience to a loving God. Because for life to have meaning , a person must have a purpose. For life to have meaning, there must be consequences. (Really think about it, imagine a life without consequences)

So of course, the natural reaction of a person without purpose is:

-Anxiety -feeling like you don’t belong -depression -nihilism

Etc.

I believe that’s a natural reaction to living life counter to the ultimate moral authority which is god. He gave you life, and you aren’t living it, so I suppose it’s very natural to feel like you feel lately.

There is a God (at least for some of us)

And you have a purpose, and when you are fulfilling that purpose (which is easy, just serve god) than your morality will be in line with eternity.

May god bless you and keep you safe.