Yea. Judging by the tone of your posts, I’d guess you maybe bigged yourself up a bit prior to the event as well, which will not have helped.

Just mark it down as an L and move on. You will not find the comfort you seek on Reddit I’m afraid.

/r/askreddit

Edit: Just to confirm, I still believe you lost your “alpha” status the second you came on your own face and she laughed at you.

If she has already told her friends, then she will likely show them your grovelling texts as well if you do follow up.

If you absolutely have to message her, maybe just try not mentioning it and see if it gets brought up. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, being a desperate virgin is not a great look though.

I think you lost your “Alpha” status the second she started laughing at you unfortunately.