Selfish to a certain level is normal. You are in individual with your own life and things like self care and self love are very healthy and ok boundary to be selfish in. Selfish that is toxic and crossing boundaries is more what bf is showing. Dependent and expecting others to clean up one's own messes and issues like it is their entitlement. That is the line of selfishness that would be unhealthy. So I won't call what you are doing is really selfish to that point. It is reasonable and it is great you are standing up for yourself and having high self respect. You are doing the right thing to priotize your mental health and peace. The problem is more of a them problem than a you problem so don't get gaslit or gaslight yourself. But it might be a sign of some yellow flags that could be borderline red. The lack of consideration and selfishness in their actions and behavior is a concern. Thats not very viable to maintaining a relationship and it might lead to ruin.

So basically the toxic relationship just became a toxic triangle. It is really easy to overlook toxicity when you like someone, but it doesn't change that they are toxic. There is nothing good that comes from being involved with toxic girls and situations. What she needs is mental help professionals and facility. Not have people enable her toxic dependency.

Well if she is keeping her distance because she doesn't want any sort of romantic situation with someone who isn't single, then I see nothing wrong with that. Are you going to force someone to give you romantic attention when you aren't even single? Be single or let it go. There is a level of selfishness you shouldn't cross. Does your gf know?