I caught it too. lol
Gotta love a Far Side reference!!

You may be joking, but you ain't wrong! lol

Yeah, me too.
When I first heard it, (over 40 years ago) it was sacks of grain and he was smuggling donkeys.

Asking for directions to Salt Lake City?

I respectfully disagree.
The problem arises from the fact that neither can agree on the name.
If they compromise and settle on one name, the problem goes away.
Not three names, but two.
One public, for the media.
And the other for private or close friends.

I'm pretty sure I explained all of this so it's unclear to me as to why you're still confused!
Maybe that says much more about you than it does me, who knows?

If she's getting hung up on the new name because she doesn't like it, then ask her to choose a name you can both agree upon, and regard it as a nickname... a term of endearment, if you like!

As long as it's not your old name and you both like it, then I feel that could be an acceptable compromise.

You could agree that it's for her exclusive/private use, or have it generally known that it's a name which only your closest friends & colleagues have the right to call you.

It isn't uncommon for celebs to have special nicknames which are deemed out of bounds to "outsiders".

Take Oliver Hardy, for example: His closest friends/acquaintances called him "Babe"!
Do you see my point?

Compromise.
It's the key to every good relationship!

He said you should have asked first?
What are you, Amish?