Girlmode

Girlmode t1_j6mifr9 wrote

Its not just learning what to say. It's learning to say much of anything. It took me ages to break being submissive and say things had gone to far.

Pain I could put up with to any extent really and much like ops girlfriend sounds if I was in a bad place in life, it potentially travels into the I hate myself and deserve this space. Rather than just haha I'm so naughty punish me daddy space. It's also really hard to not escalate the pain as you've already taken x before and you feel like a failure if one day you're super sensitive.

But choking I could tell my bf really liked and I enjoyed the high, no amount really gave me discomfort. But I'd be on the verge of passing out and be like "well I don't want to ruin it for him" and not try to communicate at all. Which was all well and good until ya know... passed out.

Not the best way to have to really work on talking. Was hard for me as my limits alwyas been above partners and I literally didn't know how to say anything in sub space, the words just wouldn't come out.

17

Girlmode t1_iy3hkk8 wrote

Just became a real comfort thing after mum died to watch it. I am sure I could still enjoy but the three lads were the comforting background noise to my mourning process this year, I think having no family left I liked having so many episodes of a show with wholesome familiar faces and positive vibes.

Still enjoy food shows so no doubt il watch. Just sad to lose the little parasocial experience I had to help me through grief a little bit. Just enjoyed so much consistent positivity and genuine passion, made me want to cook and do better.

2

Girlmode t1_iy33zms wrote

I hate the tiny monkey. I absolutely cannot sit in silence and struggle sleeping because of intrusive thoughts like these.

My brain just randomly gets in a pattern of saying "green frogs, jump logs" whilst I am trying to sleep. And I dont know why. Its like I get right on the verge of falling asleep and if there isn't a TV om and my brain realises it's quiet it has to whisper in my ear "green frogs, jump logs". Like brain it's been 20 years it do be a known fact thar green frogs jump logs. I have accepted this truth you preach to me.

That and "JONES BBQ AND FOOT MASSAGE, JONES BBQ AND FOOT MASSAGE" just echoing in my mind during any brief moment of peace.

I want to be able to sit in silence and not need a TV but then the TV in my brain just goes into overdrive. And im wanting to eat something delciousable down at Jones good ass bbq and foot massage.

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